I think this woman was telling a story doing for most of this song. She says that the kid went to college and then forgot about it mamma. I shocked at listening to this song that kids would put their elderly parents in a nursing home. The kid that woman was talking about told his mamma not to cry and they would visit their mamma in the nursing home, but they always forget. I think it is sad that kids would put their elderly parents in a nursing home. This woman was passionate about not driving away your mamma. We should never put our parents at an elderly age because the elderly are human beings just like us. There is a lot ageism that I picked up from this song. I think people should be treated fairly no matter what someone age is. Kevin246
Many people have good intentions but sometimes are not able to hold up to all that they might think they may be able to. But then again some are to self centered to notice they things going on around them. To me seeing self centered people tells me that I am noticing them and given that I have a better in site on not being that way myself. But this is also good intentions I hope to live up to myself. Ageism is going to be apart of life but we must not act upon it but not forget its there either for that we will influence the future and that future we will be older having to deal with. Nick246
I agree with Nick people don't always have bad intentions when they make the decisions to put their parents in a home, some people don't have the means to take care of their parents or provide proper care when that is the situation then I think it's definitely ok to provide them with better care. Obviously that was not the case in this song, the son in this song and his wife were being purely selfish, in cases like this it is sad, but unfortunately that's how the world works sometimes. -heartsiized246
I understand where Nick is coming from. Sometimes a person can't care for their parent/grandparent so a nursing home would be the best option. However, if it is a situation where they can take care them they just don't want to is very upsetting. Your parents took care of you when you needed it, why shouldn't you take care of them when they need it? josko246
Ageism is a horrible thing. For anyone to think that just because someone can no longer move as fast or maybe do certain things for themselves, that they should be put in a home, is sad. We don't do that to children and babies. Our parents didn't stick us into a institution just because we couldn't walk or talk or feed ourselves. They took care of us. Just the way we should with our parents and grandparents.
Its like the quote from the Bob Marley song, Real Situation. "Once a man and twice a child, and everything is just for a while." In every lifetime, we are only man once, but a child twice. We are born infants, we grow into adults, and we revert back to a child/infant like state in our old age.
This song goes with the similar video, shows ageism and how people shouldn't be mistreated. I don't think people should push elderly into nursing homes, but it happens. Its vey tongue and cheek with them. starburst246
I agree with you. No matter the age of the person you shouldn't just get rid of them. This woman was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and to me it looks like she raised her son with broken English and he became a doctor. They were definitely discriminating against the mom just because they wanted her out.
absolutely. I know my family is very traditional about the elderly and we refuse to let any of our grandparents stay in a nursing home. I know people have there reasons as to why but I just don't agree with it. LadiKay_246
Its a shame how sometimes our society treats/respects people in society. Societies are changing and people day to day lives are changing. There is less of a need to live in the hear and now and more of a need to plan ahead for the future. We are at a turning point in human civilizations and this turning point may take very long but we have to do our best and not give up and we will continue to better our selves. I think it was the right thing for Ms. Caesar to decline the record offers for that it makes her songs more creditable. Would you choose to take the easy road with less rewards at the end or the harder road with more rewards at the end? Nick246
I definitely agree with you on this. I feel like a lot of people nowadays are taking the easy way out because people are lazy now and wants things handed to them. I praise anybody who works hard a young age to get complete a goal they have because in the end the rewards is so great and can make you the happiest person but in today's world sadly there aren't enough people who want to work hard anymore. MDD246
It is shame how we treat the elderly considering that they help paved the way for us. We should treat the elderly with respect. We shouldn’t force them to go to nursing homes unless they requested to. Ageism is a lot worse than racism or even sexism because Ageism doesn’t allow people above 55 to get any job even if they are qualified for the job. I like that Ms. Caesar spoke her mind in form of a song because nobody can get offend by those statements. I think it was very smart of her to speak her mind through song. Kevin246
Kevin is right! If it weren't for the elderly we wouldn't be where we are today. We need to treat them better than they are being treated. Putting someone in a nursing home because you don't want to care for them is a slap in the face. It's like your parents saying they should've put you up for adoption because they didn't want to care for you. josko246
I don't think that it is fair that people push the elderly in nursing homes. They are good if the right people are in there. However, it doesn't work if the person is mobile and dependent. I can see how nursing homes can be abusive to the elderly. They are constantly waiting on people to answer their call lights, for the nurse to give them their medicine, and the aides to help them with their shower. I can see the other end of the perspective. They have 2 to 3 aides for every 30-50 elderly person. When everyone wants attention at the same time it gets trying to reach all their needs at once when there is a certain people who can do that. For the people who just push their parents into the homes. I think that could be a fine. If that person is mobile and dependent then they should live by themselves or one of their family members. I think if the person truly loves them they will let them stay their. They have got to remember they are only here for a short time, cherish the memories with them. starburst246
I completely agree, it is very difficult trying to provide the best care you can for your patients, I have worked in a couple of facilities that make it nearly impossible, but if you're truly passionate about what you're doing you find a way to get it done. Nursing homes are not meant for people who are independent, and completely healthy. I do however think that there are some assisted living and retirement homes that are good for the elderly, but I think it should be completely their choice, after all if they are competent why shouldn't they be able to make these decisions for themselves. It's truly sad when they are forced into it and trust me these people know, I always knew which of my patients had good family and which ones were just pawned off, it reflects in their attitude and their overall health, you would be shocked to see how fast someone can decline health wise after being placed in these "old folks homes." -heartsiized246
I completely agree that it is not fair to push the elderly into nursing homes. Especially, since they are mobile and still full of life. I don’t like that these nursing homes are abusive to the elderly. They don’t let their families visit them and they don’t treat them like human beings. These nursing homes have no respect for the elderly and think they can treat them anyway they want. I think that is wrong to treat the elderly like that. The elderly should be treated like human beings just like anyone else. I think if a senior citizen still should be able to work if they still want to. There are senior citizens that don’t want to retire and want to work forever. They should be allow to and not be forced out of their job. Kevin246
Wow You guys said it all. It is sad that there are people out there that would take advantage of the elderly and abuse them. They are the ones that raised us and should be thanked for all that they have done and not be miss treated. I know that there are good reasons to put some one in a nursing home but there are a lot of people in there that do not have to be there. They are in there for the wrong reason because there own family does not want to do the work necessary to care for them. -Tyler246
This song was full of so many truths, I have seen this happen so many times before, so many people take life for granted and don't truly appreciate as much as they should. A lot of people these days would rather take the easy way out, instead of facing reality. Its so much easier to just take your parents and drop them off at some facility and let someone else handle what you consider to be a burden, after all your parents changed your diapers, bathed you, clothed you, and fed you why should you have to do those things for them, I really hate that this is the mentality for most, this is not the way things used to be, back in the day there were no homes for you to drop your parents off to, they weren't treated like that you handled your responsibilities, it seems that over the years we have progressed in our society, we have all these amazing advances in technology and all these "wonderful" things to make our lives easier, but as people its seems some of us in society are declining. This song says a lot, this women focused so much of her time on her good son, and gave up hope with her bad son, and in the end the good son is the one who took her for granted, he's the one who didn't appreciate what his mother did for him, how hard she worked to make him a doctor, and I found it extremely amusing that he was so proud of himself, and he just kept bragging about his success but he never once gave recognition to the women who got him there, without her he wouldn't have obtained this success. Its just amazing to me how the tables turn in life. -heartsiized246
It's amazing and heartbreaking that we would do that to them. They give us everything and help us become better people by raising us and we turn them away and send them off when they become like us when we were younger. They won't be with us much longer, yet we send them away and ignore them? The whole situation is very sad and I hope that one day society wakes up and realizes what they are doing to the generation that helped them grow. -alterend246
Sad But very true. I can't image doing that to my mother after she tried her best to raise me the best way she can. Our parents and Grandparents should have the best care until the time comes for them to go because so many of them have took out time to raise us and it only makes sense to do the same for them. LadiKay_246
After listening to this song there so many true things in this. I don't think its right that some people give up on their parents/grandparents as soon as they become older and aren't capable are doing something they used to, it is a part of life and everybody who gets olde goes through the stages where they lost their memory or lost hearing. Many people are to fast to give up on them and their first instinct is to move them to a nursing home and let somebody take care of them but I feel like that can cause the person to become lonely and feel neglected by the family which can cause them to pass away sooner. I feel like should be your responsibility to look after your mother/grandmother no matter what the situation is because they are used to having you around and not just some care giver who she doesn't know as well as she knows you and that with company from family and being around them 24/7 can brighten their day so they have something to look forward to see instead of sitting in a elderly home. MDD246
This is true that they move them into a home very easy. But this is also in a way typical for that the mind still develops as we age. Some people may not understand how they could still help there parents while living a decent life till they pass. And they also do not think ahead that if they set the example by taking care of there parents that tradition may be passed on more and they will receive help from there children in the future. Nick246
I agree that the elderly do seem to perish faster after being placed in a nursing home. I can remember going to see my great grandfather and then my grandfather in the same nursing home. I can honestly say I hope I never have to go back there because every since I was little that building always seemed depressing, lonely, almost like a prison without bars, just door locked to keep the people from escaping. I mean really?? these aren't murderers, they aren't criminals, these people who deserve to be able to go outside and get some fresh air even if sometimes they may not remember why they went outside to begin with. mfroggyus246
The meaning behind this song is so true. Our generation is so fast paced that I think we tend to forget about the elderly because we think they wouldn't be able to keep up. It's sad that most people put their mothers/fathers into nursing homes so quickly. I personally would not want to do that because they took care of me, I should take care of them. But everyone has a story, and everyone's lives are different. Sometimes it could be laziness because a person doesn't want to wait on their elder hand and foot. It's sad, but true. When I'm older and successful I will definitely share the wealth with my parents. They did so much for me to get me that far. I would never do what the son did in the song. josko246
I agree. I am the youngest sibling of three, and I will be the one taking care of my grandparents. Its sad to say, but my siblings are selfish and if my parents can no longer due for them, then they would cease to have a use for them. I wish our society was more like the Japanese where the elders are revered. I know my parents are always the first ones I look to for advice or knowledge.
I like to think that growing older and becoming slower physically and even mentally is life's way of forcing you to slow down, take your time,, your only here once, you better smell those roses! Life is hectic, work, kids, bills, etc. even for the elderly since most of them have to have a job even after retirement now. I hate how everyone wants to rush constantly, I know in todays society its a must, day to day life is a race, but we have to start being respectful of the ones who already ran their race, they earned it. mfroggyus246
For me, this song is sad but true. Most people today would rather put their elderly parents into a nursing home than care for them, themselves. I saw this with my paternal grandmother. She fell and broke her hip when she was 82. And from there, she declined quickly. She had been living on her own until she broke her hip, but afterwards, Alzheimer's disease set in. She was no longer able to live by herself. Out of her 2 children, her daughter didn't want to be burdened by her, so my father and mother brought her to live with us.
At the time, I had just graduated high school and was attending ICC. I eventually dropped out to be one of my grandmothers main caregivers so my parents could both work. After having my grandmother with us for many years, we finally had to put her into a nursing home because we were no longer able to properly care for her. It was one of the hardest choices my dad has ever had to make. He still hates himself for having to put her into a nursing home.
My aunt never came to see my grandmother while she lived with us and never once came and saw her at the nursing home. The only time she bothered to show up was the night that we knew my grandmother was going to pass away.
For me, this song has deep meaning. My aunt was better off than my parents, but she didn't want to be burdened by my grandmother when she could no longer use my grandmother for free babysitting. My family didn't have much, but we made sure grandma was always clean, fed, and had nice clothes to wear. Even when she had to be in a nursing home do to her Alzheimer's reverting her back into the infancy stage.
Its really sad to think that in modern society, that it is okay to just put our elders into a nursing home because they are no longer "of use to us."
Its sad how people could just do this to a family member and not even want to help out like that. My mom felt the same way when my grandmother started having really bad health problems and was put into a nursing home. Whenever she would go to visit her there she was really confused to the point where she didn't even know who me or my son was. She would always ask my mom if she was there to take her home with her and my mom would get super upset about it. She felt guilty and thought she should of had her stay with us and she could of helped her, but we couldn't of given her the proper care that she needed. kmoney246
This song really talks about how the younger and middle aged generation takes advantage of the elderly and pretty much treats them like garbage. Having your parents take care of your kids then when they've grown up and they have no use for the grandmother they decide to just kick her out and put her in a nursing home. It's not like there was anything wrong with her to where they had to send her away they just said she was in the way and didn't want her living with them anymore. 80 percent of caregiving to the elderly is provided by the family members, which I can understand that in some of those situations that they aren't able to give them the proper care that a caregiver could give them. Then I think that some of that percentage is people who think of them as a burden and like in the song they don't want them around or are too lazy to take on the responsibility of taking care of them. I look at it as they took care of you when you were growing up and you should do the same and take care of them when they are in need of help. When we sold my grandmothers trailer a couple months ago the old lady buying it had to wait to get it because she had to get her loan approved. When my mom was talking to her she said her mother had gotten sick so her son went to live with her and when she died she had left all the money to him. He knew she needed help buying that trailer and when she asked him if she could borrow the money to pay for it he immediately turned her down. I don't know how people can do that its like if my parents needed me to help them I would be right there. The song says,"God gave you your mama, don't drive her away," because one day they won't be around and your going to regret the mean things you did towards them. kmoney246
I agree, we need to care for our elders when they arent able to instead of ignoring them and sending them to spend the rest of their days hidden away at an old folks home. They spent so much time raising us and helping us grow and we turn around and push them away when they stat to become a burden on us. It's sad that society today views the elderly as a burden, when they have so much wisdom and insight and have helped us grow into the people we are.
Well said! I couldn't agree more. The simple fact that we are all guilty of taking advantage of what we are given by our parents means that our parents should be able to take advantage of what we can give them. Reverence to all the elderly is certain to yield good things to everyone. Ethos246
I think it is bad why the son wanted to sent his mom to the nursing home. He had a very bad excuse on why he want to sent her the nursing home. She was still able to care for herself and be self sufficient. He just didn't want her around his children because he did not think she was good influence on them. I think that that is horrible that people would just get rid of their parents like that just because they are no use to you anymore. Like, Thank you for all that you have done for me, here is a nice nursing home that will take care of you because I'm too busy to help you. It is just not fair or just. -Tyler246
This song shows just how uncaring our generation can be. After all the love and support our parents give us and all the time they put into raising us, in the end we don't want to have the burden of caring for them like they did for us. I know that when my great grandpa went the nursing home it was a very difficult decision to make all around. My great grandma didn't want to send him there but he was no longer able to take care of himself and she wasn't able to take care of him as much as she would have liked to. My grandparents and aunts and uncles tried to go out to the farm to help as much as possible but they all had jobs other things going on, as well as taking care of the farm since he wasn't able to. In the end he offered to go to the nursing home, as did my great grandma just this year. It's still sad that that should even be an option to them with all of us there to care for them, but each of them felt that they were a burden on the family, despite us trying to tell them otherwise. -alterend246
I agree with you 110%. I'm still lucky enough to have all four of my grandparents and I count my lucky stars for that. My grandfather on my mothers side is 87 years old and he is a farmer. To this day he still goes out on his tracters and maintains the land. Work is what keeps him alive. Having a purpose and being needed is what he strives on. I hope that I can be half the man that he is and he always encourages me to be twice the man that he is. Ralph (my grandpa) will die with his boots on and I hope that I can say the same for myself.
I fell in love with this singer. I had to listen to this song three times because other family members of mine wanted to hear it. She tells the story with so much soul and conviction. I know that ageism is wrong and that there are sad parts in the story like when they were taking momma to the old folk’s home, but to me there is comedy with the drama of it all. The successful son uses and then abuses his momma where as the unsuccessful son abuses his momma love with his bad decisions early in life, but then makes his great move when he takes momma home with him. He even preempted his situation by letting her know he doesn’t drive a limousine, doesn’t eat steak, and she might have to sleep on a cot. To momma though, that probably sounds like a life a luxury compared to the old folks home. Love is the key element in this song. I say shame on the successful son and kudos to the other son. Momma has done nothing but give out love and that is the key to the song.
This song is a great example of how ageism has been around for quite sometime only to have gotten worse over time. As a healthcare worker I see this happen all the time and its sad. I've had residents think that their kids dropped them.off while they go on vacation not knowing this place would be there home until they die! Its sad that some people would consider their elderly loved one a burden.Now don't get me wrong their are some circumstances where you have absolutely no choice but to place your loved one n the nursing home. For instance I work at an.Alzheimer's care facility and alot of the family members say they had no choice due to the elder wandering off going missing for hours or the sometimes extreme combativeness that go along with the illness.I think putting your loved one in a home should be absolute LAST RESORT! Jessme246
I agree that putting an love one in a nursing home should be the last resort. If the elderly can still work and live a normal life than they should never go to a nursing home. I also, think we should make healthcare more affordable for the elderly. Healthcare right now is not affordable to the elderly. Barack Obama is trying to make healthcare more affordable with Obamacare, but most of congress won’t vote on it. I think congress doesn’t support the elderly and that is wrong. Kevin246
I agree that a nursing home should be a last resort. I also believe that it should be the elderly person’s choice to live there and no one else’s. Unfortunately ageism can also make an elderly person feel like that is where they are supposed to be even if they do not want to be there. Glide246
I think some families put their elderly in a nursing homes and forget to visit them. I think it is wrong to put the elderly in a nursing homes especially if the elderly can still work and live a full life. Even if, they put the elderly in a nursing home, they shouldn’t forget to visit. If you forget to visit then the elderly will think you don’t care about them. I don’t think families should put their elderly in a nursing home because these nursing homes can be abusive. These nursing homes can treat the elderly like children instead of treating them like human beings and grownups. These nursing homes also don’t let the families of the elderly visit. Kevin246
Amen Kevin! You nailed that one. I all so think it is wrong to put people in nursing homes. Most of the time the families don't visit and if they do its only on special occasions. All the nursing homes i have been in to, don't give the care to the patients that they need. They are there to collect their paycheck and that's about it. I can't say that about all nursing homes because I have only been in about 30, but out of those 30, there was not one that I could imagine sticking one of my family members in. Good Job! CooCoo246
Unfortunately, a lot of people now a days do not have the time nor patience for their elders. Personally, I feel going to a nursing home is not an option for my parents. I just think if all those years they took care of me through good and bad times I will do everything in my power to do the same, even if that means becoming a nurse. It is enough that so much of their hard earned money goes to medical bills and medications. I do not want them to have to spend the rest of lives with people who do not love them like I do nor can take care of them as I. A majority of their hard earned money will just go to their living at a place that is like a prison to them. Labrador246
Its nice to hear others say that its not an option for their parents to end up in a nursing home. It seems like when I ask people why they put their parents in there, the usual response is, they can't take care of them. But my question to them is usually, what if your parents had put you in a foster home because they couldn't take care of you? People usually get really mad or it takes them by surprise. I know parents had it tough at times with all my siblings and I, but they wouldn't of even considered not taking care of us. Its called love people! Your parents are lucky people. God Bless You! CooCoo246
Sometimes love isn't enough to provide someone with the care and attention they need. Just like with kids that go to foster homes, they are there because their parents do not have the ability to care for them, whether its because of money, housing conditions, lack of ability, etc. I think this pertains to nursing homes as well. I know abuse does happen, but maybe a nursing home is a safer option for the elderly than with their relatives who just lack the ability to care for them. I'm not saying that this is true in every situation, but I still think its a situation that exists and should still be considered. YellowSubmarine246
This song sure touches the reality a lot of seniors have to face in life. When she starts talking about visiting the “old folk’s home,” and the story about mama, I felt like she was talking about my mom’s aunt. Just like the “good” son left his mama (after taking care of his children).My mother’s aunt married someone rich (a business man) and had my mother’s grandmother raise her children (four children), she would wash their clothes, take care of them, educate them and also take care of her daughter’s house. When my great grandmother got health problems and became ill, she was left by them (two of her grandkids became doctors but never looked after her). She was pretty much forgotten by them. They would not call on her birthday because her birthday was at the same day as her granddaughter’s birthday so she would have a big celebration for her daughter and forget about her mother. My great grandmother had four children, but only my mother’s mom took her to her house to take care of her till the end. The good daughter (my mother’s aunt) didn’t even go to her mother’s funeral because she was on vacation. This is what happens to a lot of the seniors that are left like an old bag at the “old folk’s home.” Doglover246
This song illustrated a form of ageism, with the son trying to put his mother in a nursing home because of her behavior and to allow someone younger to perform her job. It is sad that people in our society feel that it is acceptable to put an elderly relative in a nursing home because they no longer approve of their behavior. The reasoning to move the mother to a nursing home to enable a younger person to perform her job of helping raise the grandchildren is reflective of the structural functional approach’s disengagement theory. One thing I struggle with is the mother allowing this to happen, as if she was unable of saying no and simply finding a new place to live. Certainly conditions, such as poverty, could eliminate the ability to find one’s own place to live. As we all inevitably become elderly we can only hope that we do not find ourselves in such a predicament. Glide246
This song makes me really proud of my family. I have had two of my grandparents pass away last year and my family refused to put either of them in a nursing home. My parents and their siblings gave up a lot of time to care for them the last few months they where with us. All of our free time was spent at their house caring for them and it was really nice that nurses could come and check on them everyday. We were able to keep them at home and surround them with family until the day that they passed away. It was really hard to see them go and i would not have wanted it to be any different. I just hope that one day i will be as strong as my family and keep my parents out of a nursing home. -Tyler246
I agree that this is definitely something for your family to be proud of. I just think about families that can't afford to have nurses stop by. Families where both parents have to work full time to support themselves and their elderly parents and can not be home to check in on the grandparent. When an elderly person starts to get senile or alzheimers they can no longer take care of themselves and can very easily put themselves in danger. I think in some situations, as sad as it is, there are just no other options. YellowSubmarine246
I am proud of your family for the sacrafices they made to care for your grandparents. I know it is not always easy and sometimes can become near impossible. When my grandmother started to show signs that she was having diffculties caring for her self, my family stepped up. Everyone had their part and she was only alone for 6 hours through the night. She eventually had a stroke and we were no longer able to give her they care she needed and had to be place in a nursing home. This was not what any of us wanted. She still was not alone much there because we all took turns visiting and doing what we could. She passed away there but I know she knew she was loved and cherished by her family. Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions. GMD246
Does it reflect where we are with the elderly? I would say for most part yes. Families aren't as close as they use to be. The grandparents aren't treated with as much respect or as much importance as they use to be. Growing up in my family, we go to my grandparents house for every holiday. Now that they are getting too old, my parents have all the holidays at their house. One day when they get too old, one of my sisters or I will take over. I always told my mom that there would be no way I could ever put her or my father in a home. Working in that field has opened up my eyes. Seeing the elderly all alone in their rooms, no family every stopping by, except maybe for a holiday, breaks my heart. This story that she just told, was amazing. Money can't buy happiness, but love can! CooCoo246
I agree and disagree with you all at the same time. This is where some of us are with the elderly. Maybe not the exact situation, but in how many older movies do we hear the term “respect your elder”. And I feel like our generation has no respect for those older than them. However, I think that there is an exception and you do still see the goodness in some people when dealing with elderly. Bullardml13-246
I don’t think this song necessarily describes where we are with the elderly today. I thought it more closely described the story of a selfish son. Even though his mother was crying and didn’t want to be taken to a nursing home, he forced her to anyway. She was able to take care of herself, it just wasn’t the most convenient situation for her son. I suppose there may be some people like this today, but it has been my experience that people who are sending their elderly relatives to nursing homes are those that really have no other options. The older people may require too much care or constant surveillance to ensure they don’t hurt themselves. Their relatives might not have the money or resources to help their relatives be comfortable and safe. I have not met anyone yet that is just too selfish to keep their elderly relatives with them. They usually just aren’t able to take care of them themselves any longer. YellowSubmarine246
I agree. I believe this is mostly about a son and his selfishness not caring about how much he is hurting his mother the one who worked head and foot day in and day out to make sure he become something in life and this is how he repay her. I don't believe it gets anymore selfish than that.
I agree with you that the son is being selfish. The mother sounded more than capable of taking care of herself. I have not met anyone in this situation either. In fact I have a friend who is in the opposite situation. Her dad suffers from dementia so severe that he has disappeared for a day before. However, his wife does not want to send him to a nursing home (despite the fact that it’s where he really needs to be) for fear that she is a failure. Bullardml13-246
Nursing home placement is tough, some it may not be as tough because of the lack of care. I know I would do anything I could to keep my family out of them just because what I have seen. Even if family can not take care of them there are people who can come take care of them at home 24/7. People just automatically think that since they are unable to care for themselves that they need to go in a home. This song is the truth in many peoples lives more than we know, one is always "better" in their eyes until it comes down to having to do something for their parents than it is whatever is convenient for them. The outcome of this song was such a good one, because sometimes people do not have that other "child" to take them under their wing. feb246
I understand that due to the fact that both adults running a household have to work now a days to make ends meet, so that has unfortunately made it that much harder for people to be able to care for their elderly family members. You need the money to support them but earning the money takes you away from the home and unable to give proper care, so people think its a better option for both parties sometimes to place the elderly in a nursing home. If any of you have ever gone to a nursing home, how many patients do you see getting visitors? I have seldom seem a lot and it always seems there is an elderly person or two or three sitting in a wheel chair in a hallway somewhere looking like they have absolutely no clue what is going on around them. I think that's a horrible way to live out the rest of your years, hell, even if your completely senile who wants to stair at a wall or look out the same window for hours a day. That's not the way I want to spend my days and I don't want to see my family members spend their time that way either. Its a sad reality that the elderly get tossed to the side like "yesterdays news" in some cases but it is even sadder when resources or circumstances keep anyone from being able to care for a loved one at home they way they would like and are forced to choose a nursing home. This song ended with a sweet note to a bad situation, I wish that was true for more real life situations. mfroggyus246
This song is touching. A man who has everything abandoning his mom because of his wife and no need for her service anymore, and a man who has nothing taking in that same mom who was being abandon. This is what we can refer to as aging disengagement. Once someone reaches a certain age you basically through them away they become useless. This is very sad but there are probably millions of families that do this. I'm glad I was given the family I have and we were taught way better than that. We will never disown anyone. We will take care of them until it is impossible for us to do it on our own, and even then if they have to go to a nursing home or anything like that there will always be someone visiting every single day making sure they are ok and well taken care of. Disengagement is something we don't nor will ever practice in our family.
I am so glad that your family is not like the one in the song. It is such a heart breaker hearing how elderly get shoved in the nursing home just because it is at times an inconvenience for them. It is easiest to drop someone off and let the others "do the work." It is easiest to schedule holidays around them without having to take them places and getting them to and from places. In which you see a lot of that taking place in homes. Props to you & your family! feb246
Clearly this woman was very frustrated. She gave everything she had for her son to get the proper education, and be somebody. Then like nothing he pretty much says that he doesn’t want her living with them because she is doing certain things wrong. Sounds like to me that the woman is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She is not deviant, nor causing any trouble to the “good son” other than some bad English. It’s a shame that the mama can work hard her whole life and the son just gets rid of her one day. What they are not thinking about is the activity theory. The mama might take great pride in working around the house and should she go to the old folks home it might take the sense of dignity away from her. A lot of times when the elderly have their dignity taken away from them, or their sense of worth their health starts to deteriorate at a faster pace than it typically would have. Bullardml13-246
I love this gospel. It spoke to truth of how some of our society treats their parents. I know several people who once they did not need the "Free" childcare anymore dismissed their mothers. Little did they realize that while mom was taking care of the grandkids she was not bring in an income or sold her house because now she was staying with her children. Once they were done they told them to leave or took them to an assisted living center. Once couple visited her twice and then said they would not come back because she was crazy, senile. She has been in the assisted living center for 15 years now and they do nor do the grandkids she raised come see her. I feel sorry for her, she is not crazy or senile, she is infact bitter, angry and depressed that the people she loved the most have treated her like this. I have tried to facilitate a reunion with my friend, her granddaughter, but she will not in fear of her parents. This women has no one, the age of gerontocarcy is no longer the way it once was. This saddens me that people throw away family because they get older and dont need them any more. GMD246
This is a sad song, not just for the mother but for the son. In America today parents are just not respected like they used to be. The son was so selfish and cared more about his kids proper language than having family to love and care for him. Although this is a sad song I don't really see this happening to much these days, where kids are forcing their parents into a home. I work at a nursing home and get to see how people react to moving in. The home I work for also does home-care and that is a more popular trend these days. I think that is partly due to money. Nursing homes are expensive. More kids these days are keeping their parents home longer. Even then hospice is stepping in and doing end of life care. It's a really nice feature for people wanting tho stay in their homes. Most of the people moving in to the home are people who are looking to down size to something smaller as to not be a burden to their kids when they pass, or are people who require to much nursing care to be cared for at home. As far as I have seen lately people are not being forced to move in to a nursing home against their will. I'm glad because it can destroy child parent relationships that are so valuable Kristen246
This society is seems to not take to the elderly quiet as well. Over the years as the world changes I think society starts to lose those respect for our elderly. I understand they felt like the grandmother wad a bit to much, but she is a well and healthy women who is still capable of taking care of herself . Sometimes younger people get so caught up and their lives that they forget about how important it is for us to be there for our elderly. The ones who worked hard to get is where we are today. Ageism is serious and its starting to become a normal thing. ladiKay_246
I agree, Ageism is becoming a social norm. Most people get too caught up in their own lives to understand how lonely the elderly get especially if they have lost their significant other. It is because of the elderly that we are who we are today, and we should respect them for that. WISCO_hurdler246
I feel like just because you put your parents or grandparents in a nursing home doesn't make them bad kids. I honestly would never do that but i don't judge people for doing so. I am very close to my family and they are very independent. Their situation may just not have the time or resources to take decent care of them. Now that's different then ditching your own family just because you need a "computer room" or your just annoyed by them they after all more then likely helped raise you or another person in your family so dropping them off at a nursing home then would be highly disrespectful but they wouldn't have nursing homes if they didn't serve a greater purpose then a place to ditch your elders. For the most part they take good care them maybe better then the family could. -WISCO_hurdler246
I think this woman was telling a story doing for most of this song. She says that the kid went to college and then forgot about it mamma. I shocked at listening to this song that kids would put their elderly parents in a nursing home. The kid that woman was talking about told his mamma not to cry and they would visit their mamma in the nursing home, but they always forget. I think it is sad that kids would put their elderly parents in a nursing home. This woman was passionate about not driving away your mamma. We should never put our parents at an elderly age because the elderly are human beings just like us. There is a lot ageism that I picked up from this song. I think people should be treated fairly no matter what someone age is.
ReplyDeleteKevin246
Many people have good intentions but sometimes are not able to hold up to all that they might think they may be able to. But then again some are to self centered to notice they things going on around them. To me seeing self centered people tells me that I am noticing them and given that I have a better in site on not being that way myself. But this is also good intentions I hope to live up to myself. Ageism is going to be apart of life but we must not act upon it but not forget its there either for that we will influence the future and that future we will be older having to deal with.
DeleteNick246
I agree with Nick people don't always have bad intentions when they make the decisions to put their parents in a home, some people don't have the means to take care of their parents or provide proper care when that is the situation then I think it's definitely ok to provide them with better care. Obviously that was not the case in this song, the son in this song and his wife were being purely selfish, in cases like this it is sad, but unfortunately that's how the world works sometimes.
Delete-heartsiized246
I understand where Nick is coming from. Sometimes a person can't care for their parent/grandparent so a nursing home would be the best option. However, if it is a situation where they can take care them they just don't want to is very upsetting. Your parents took care of you when you needed it, why shouldn't you take care of them when they need it?
Deletejosko246
Ageism is a horrible thing. For anyone to think that just because someone can no longer move as fast or maybe do certain things for themselves, that they should be put in a home, is sad. We don't do that to children and babies. Our parents didn't stick us into a institution just because we couldn't walk or talk or feed ourselves. They took care of us. Just the way we should with our parents and grandparents.
DeleteIts like the quote from the Bob Marley song, Real Situation. "Once a man and twice a child, and everything is just for a while." In every lifetime, we are only man once, but a child twice. We are born infants, we grow into adults, and we revert back to a child/infant like state in our old age.
lilblack94gt246
This song goes with the similar video, shows ageism and how people shouldn't be mistreated. I don't think people should push elderly into nursing homes, but it happens. Its vey tongue and cheek with them. starburst246
DeleteI agree with you. No matter the age of the person you shouldn't just get rid of them. This woman was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and to me it looks like she raised her son with broken English and he became a doctor. They were definitely discriminating against the mom just because they wanted her out.
DeleteElbow-knee_246
absolutely. I know my family is very traditional about the elderly and we refuse to let any of our grandparents stay in a nursing home. I know people have there reasons as to why but I just don't agree with it. LadiKay_246
DeleteIts a shame how sometimes our society treats/respects people in society. Societies are changing and people day to day lives are changing. There is less of a need to live in the hear and now and more of a need to plan ahead for the future. We are at a turning point in human civilizations and this turning point may take very long but we have to do our best and not give up and we will continue to better our selves. I think it was the right thing for Ms. Caesar to decline the record offers for that it makes her songs more creditable. Would you choose to take the easy road with less rewards at the end or the harder road with more rewards at the end?
ReplyDeleteNick246
I definitely agree with you on this. I feel like a lot of people nowadays are taking the easy way out because people are lazy now and wants things handed to them. I praise anybody who works hard a young age to get complete a goal they have because in the end the rewards is so great and can make you the happiest person but in today's world sadly there aren't enough people who want to work hard anymore.
DeleteMDD246
It is shame how we treat the elderly considering that they help paved the way for us. We should treat the elderly with respect. We shouldn’t force them to go to nursing homes unless they requested to. Ageism is a lot worse than racism or even sexism because Ageism doesn’t allow people above 55 to get any job even if they are qualified for the job. I like that Ms. Caesar spoke her mind in form of a song because nobody can get offend by those statements. I think it was very smart of her to speak her mind through song.
DeleteKevin246
Kevin is right! If it weren't for the elderly we wouldn't be where we are today. We need to treat them better than they are being treated. Putting someone in a nursing home because you don't want to care for them is a slap in the face. It's like your parents saying they should've put you up for adoption because they didn't want to care for you.
Deletejosko246
I don't think that it is fair that people push the elderly in nursing homes. They are good if the right people are in there. However, it doesn't work if the person is mobile and dependent. I can see how nursing homes can be abusive to the elderly. They are constantly waiting on people to answer their call lights, for the nurse to give them their medicine, and the aides to help them with their shower. I can see the other end of the perspective. They have 2 to 3 aides for every 30-50 elderly person. When everyone wants attention at the same time it gets trying to reach all their needs at once when there is a certain people who can do that. For the people who just push their parents into the homes. I think that could be a fine. If that person is mobile and dependent then they should live by themselves or one of their family members. I think if the person truly loves them they will let them stay their. They have got to remember they are only here for a short time, cherish the memories with them. starburst246
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, it is very difficult trying to provide the best care you can for your patients, I have worked in a couple of facilities that make it nearly impossible, but if you're truly passionate about what you're doing you find a way to get it done. Nursing homes are not meant for people who are independent, and completely healthy. I do however think that there are some assisted living and retirement homes that are good for the elderly, but I think it should be completely their choice, after all if they are competent why shouldn't they be able to make these decisions for themselves. It's truly sad when they are forced into it and trust me these people know, I always knew which of my patients had good family and which ones were just pawned off, it reflects in their attitude and their overall health, you would be shocked to see how fast someone can decline health wise after being placed in these "old folks homes."
Delete-heartsiized246
I completely agree that it is not fair to push the elderly into nursing homes. Especially, since they are mobile and still full of life. I don’t like that these nursing homes are abusive to the elderly. They don’t let their families visit them and they don’t treat them like human beings. These nursing homes have no respect for the elderly and think they can treat them anyway they want. I think that is wrong to treat the elderly like that. The elderly should be treated like human beings just like anyone else. I think if a senior citizen still should be able to work if they still want to. There are senior citizens that don’t want to retire and want to work forever. They should be allow to and not be forced out of their job.
DeleteKevin246
Wow You guys said it all. It is sad that there are people out there that would take advantage of the elderly and abuse them. They are the ones that raised us and should be thanked for all that they have done and not be miss treated. I know that there are good reasons to put some one in a nursing home but there are a lot of people in there that do not have to be there. They are in there for the wrong reason because there own family does not want to do the work necessary to care for them. -Tyler246
DeleteThis song was full of so many truths, I have seen this happen so many times before, so many people take life for granted and don't truly appreciate as much as they should. A lot of people these days would rather take the easy way out, instead of facing reality. Its so much easier to just take your parents and drop them off at some facility and let someone else handle what you consider to be a burden, after all your parents changed your diapers, bathed you, clothed you, and fed you why should you have to do those things for them, I really hate that this is the mentality for most, this is not the way things used to be, back in the day there were no homes for you to drop your parents off to, they weren't treated like that you handled your responsibilities, it seems that over the years we have progressed in our society, we have all these amazing advances in technology and all these "wonderful" things to make our lives easier, but as people its seems some of us in society are declining. This song says a lot, this women focused so much of her time on her good son, and gave up hope with her bad son, and in the end the good son is the one who took her for granted, he's the one who didn't appreciate what his mother did for him, how hard she worked to make him a doctor, and I found it extremely amusing that he was so proud of himself, and he just kept bragging about his success but he never once gave recognition to the women who got him there, without her he wouldn't have obtained this success. Its just amazing to me how the tables turn in life.
ReplyDelete-heartsiized246
It's amazing and heartbreaking that we would do that to them. They give us everything and help us become better people by raising us and we turn them away and send them off when they become like us when we were younger. They won't be with us much longer, yet we send them away and ignore them? The whole situation is very sad and I hope that one day society wakes up and realizes what they are doing to the generation that helped them grow.
Delete-alterend246
Sad But very true. I can't image doing that to my mother after she tried her best to raise me the best way she can. Our parents and Grandparents should have the best care until the time comes for them to go because so many of them have took out time to raise us and it only makes sense to do the same for them. LadiKay_246
DeleteAfter listening to this song there so many true things in this. I don't think its right that some people give up on their parents/grandparents as soon as they become older and aren't capable are doing something they used to, it is a part of life and everybody who gets olde goes through the stages where they lost their memory or lost hearing. Many people are to fast to give up on them and their first instinct is to move them to a nursing home and let somebody take care of them but I feel like that can cause the person to become lonely and feel neglected by the family which can cause them to pass away sooner. I feel like should be your responsibility to look after your mother/grandmother no matter what the situation is because they are used to having you around and not just some care giver who she doesn't know as well as she knows you and that with company from family and being around them 24/7 can brighten their day so they have something to look forward to see instead of sitting in a elderly home.
ReplyDeleteMDD246
This is true that they move them into a home very easy. But this is also in a way typical for that the mind still develops as we age. Some people may not understand how they could still help there parents while living a decent life till they pass. And they also do not think ahead that if they set the example by taking care of there parents that tradition may be passed on more and they will receive help from there children in the future.
DeleteNick246
I agree that the elderly do seem to perish faster after being placed in a nursing home. I can remember going to see my great grandfather and then my grandfather in the same nursing home. I can honestly say I hope I never have to go back there because every since I was little that building always seemed depressing, lonely, almost like a prison without bars, just door locked to keep the people from escaping. I mean really?? these aren't murderers, they aren't criminals, these people who deserve to be able to go outside and get some fresh air even if sometimes they may not remember why they went outside to begin with. mfroggyus246
DeleteThe meaning behind this song is so true. Our generation is so fast paced that I think we tend to forget about the elderly because we think they wouldn't be able to keep up. It's sad that most people put their mothers/fathers into nursing homes so quickly. I personally would not want to do that because they took care of me, I should take care of them. But everyone has a story, and everyone's lives are different. Sometimes it could be laziness because a person doesn't want to wait on their elder hand and foot. It's sad, but true. When I'm older and successful I will definitely share the wealth with my parents. They did so much for me to get me that far. I would never do what the son did in the song.
ReplyDeletejosko246
I agree. I am the youngest sibling of three, and I will be the one taking care of my grandparents. Its sad to say, but my siblings are selfish and if my parents can no longer due for them, then they would cease to have a use for them. I wish our society was more like the Japanese where the elders are revered. I know my parents are always the first ones I look to for advice or knowledge.
Deletelilblack94gt246
I totally agree. One day I want to be successful and share my wealth with my parents as well. Doglover246
DeleteI like to think that growing older and becoming slower physically and even mentally is life's way of forcing you to slow down, take your time,, your only here once, you better smell those roses! Life is hectic, work, kids, bills, etc. even for the elderly since most of them have to have a job even after retirement now. I hate how everyone wants to rush constantly, I know in todays society its a must, day to day life is a race, but we have to start being respectful of the ones who already ran their race, they earned it. mfroggyus246
DeleteFor me, this song is sad but true. Most people today would rather put their elderly parents into a nursing home than care for them, themselves. I saw this with my paternal grandmother. She fell and broke her hip when she was 82. And from there, she declined quickly. She had been living on her own until she broke her hip, but afterwards, Alzheimer's disease set in. She was no longer able to live by herself. Out of her 2 children, her daughter didn't want to be burdened by her, so my father and mother brought her to live with us.
ReplyDeleteAt the time, I had just graduated high school and was attending ICC. I eventually dropped out to be one of my grandmothers main caregivers so my parents could both work. After having my grandmother with us for many years, we finally had to put her into a nursing home because we were no longer able to properly care for her. It was one of the hardest choices my dad has ever had to make. He still hates himself for having to put her into a nursing home.
My aunt never came to see my grandmother while she lived with us and never once came and saw her at the nursing home. The only time she bothered to show up was the night that we knew my grandmother was going to pass away.
For me, this song has deep meaning. My aunt was better off than my parents, but she didn't want to be burdened by my grandmother when she could no longer use my grandmother for free babysitting. My family didn't have much, but we made sure grandma was always clean, fed, and had nice clothes to wear. Even when she had to be in a nursing home do to her Alzheimer's reverting her back into the infancy stage.
Its really sad to think that in modern society, that it is okay to just put our elders into a nursing home because they are no longer "of use to us."
lilblack94gt246
Its sad how people could just do this to a family member and not even want to help out like that. My mom felt the same way when my grandmother started having really bad health problems and was put into a nursing home. Whenever she would go to visit her there she was really confused to the point where she didn't even know who me or my son was. She would always ask my mom if she was there to take her home with her and my mom would get super upset about it. She felt guilty and thought she should of had her stay with us and she could of helped her, but we couldn't of given her the proper care that she needed. kmoney246
DeleteThis song really talks about how the younger and middle aged generation takes advantage of the elderly and pretty much treats them like garbage. Having your parents take care of your kids then when they've grown up and they have no use for the grandmother they decide to just kick her out and put her in a nursing home. It's not like there was anything wrong with her to where they had to send her away they just said she was in the way and didn't want her living with them anymore. 80 percent of caregiving to the elderly is provided by the family members, which I can understand that in some of those situations that they aren't able to give them the proper care that a caregiver could give them. Then I think that some of that percentage is people who think of them as a burden and like in the song they don't want them around or are too lazy to take on the responsibility of taking care of them. I look at it as they took care of you when you were growing up and you should do the same and take care of them when they are in need of help. When we sold my grandmothers trailer a couple months ago the old lady buying it had to wait to get it because she had to get her loan approved. When my mom was talking to her she said her mother had gotten sick so her son went to live with her and when she died she had left all the money to him. He knew she needed help buying that trailer and when she asked him if she could borrow the money to pay for it he immediately turned her down. I don't know how people can do that its like if my parents needed me to help them I would be right there. The song says,"God gave you your mama, don't drive her away," because one day they won't be around and your going to regret the mean things you did towards them. kmoney246
ReplyDeleteI agree, we need to care for our elders when they arent able to instead of ignoring them and sending them to spend the rest of their days hidden away at an old folks home. They spent so much time raising us and helping us grow and we turn around and push them away when they stat to become a burden on us. It's sad that society today views the elderly as a burden, when they have so much wisdom and insight and have helped us grow into the people we are.
Delete^alterend246
DeleteWell said! I couldn't agree more. The simple fact that we are all guilty of taking advantage of what we are given by our parents means that our parents should be able to take advantage of what we can give them. Reverence to all the elderly is certain to yield good things to everyone.
DeleteEthos246
I think it is bad why the son wanted to sent his mom to the nursing home. He had a very bad excuse on why he want to sent her the nursing home. She was still able to care for herself and be self sufficient. He just didn't want her around his children because he did not think she was good influence on them. I think that that is horrible that people would just get rid of their parents like that just because they are no use to you anymore. Like, Thank you for all that you have done for me, here is a nice nursing home that will take care of you because I'm too busy to help you. It is just not fair or just. -Tyler246
DeleteThis song shows just how uncaring our generation can be. After all the love and support our parents give us and all the time they put into raising us, in the end we don't want to have the burden of caring for them like they did for us. I know that when my great grandpa went the nursing home it was a very difficult decision to make all around. My great grandma didn't want to send him there but he was no longer able to take care of himself and she wasn't able to take care of him as much as she would have liked to. My grandparents and aunts and uncles tried to go out to the farm to help as much as possible but they all had jobs other things going on, as well as taking care of the farm since he wasn't able to. In the end he offered to go to the nursing home, as did my great grandma just this year. It's still sad that that should even be an option to them with all of us there to care for them, but each of them felt that they were a burden on the family, despite us trying to tell them otherwise.
ReplyDelete-alterend246
I agree with you 110%. I'm still lucky enough to have all four of my grandparents and I count my lucky stars for that. My grandfather on my mothers side is 87 years old and he is a farmer. To this day he still goes out on his tracters and maintains the land. Work is what keeps him alive. Having a purpose and being needed is what he strives on. I hope that I can be half the man that he is and he always encourages me to be twice the man that he is. Ralph (my grandpa) will die with his boots on and I hope that I can say the same for myself.
DeleteEthos246
I fell in love with this singer. I had to listen to this song three times because other family members of mine wanted to hear it. She tells the story with so much soul and conviction. I know that ageism is wrong and that there are sad parts in the story like when they were taking momma to the old folk’s home, but to me there is comedy with the drama of it all. The successful son uses and then abuses his momma where as the unsuccessful son abuses his momma love with his bad decisions early in life, but then makes his great move when he takes momma home with him. He even preempted his situation by letting her know he doesn’t drive a limousine, doesn’t eat steak, and she might have to sleep on a cot. To momma though, that probably sounds like a life a luxury compared to the old folks home. Love is the key element in this song. I say shame on the successful son and kudos to the other son. Momma has done nothing but give out love and that is the key to the song.
ReplyDeleteEthos246
This song is a great example of how ageism has been around for quite sometime only to have gotten worse over time. As a healthcare worker I see this happen all the time and its sad. I've had residents think that their kids dropped them.off while they go on vacation not knowing this place would be there home until they die! Its sad that some people would consider their elderly loved one a burden.Now don't get me wrong their are some circumstances where you have absolutely no choice but to place your loved one n the nursing home. For instance I work at an.Alzheimer's care facility and alot of the family members say they had no choice due to the elder wandering off going missing for hours or the sometimes extreme combativeness that go along with the illness.I think putting your loved one in a home should be absolute LAST RESORT!
ReplyDeleteJessme246
I agree that putting an love one in a nursing home should be the last resort. If the elderly can still work and live a normal life than they should never go to a nursing home. I also, think we should make healthcare more affordable for the elderly. Healthcare right now is not affordable to the elderly. Barack Obama is trying to make healthcare more affordable with Obamacare, but most of congress won’t vote on it. I think congress doesn’t support the elderly and that is wrong.
DeleteKevin246
I agree that a nursing home should be a last resort. I also believe that it should be the elderly person’s choice to live there and no one else’s. Unfortunately ageism can also make an elderly person feel like that is where they are supposed to be even if they do not want to be there.
DeleteGlide246
I think some families put their elderly in a nursing homes and forget to visit them. I think it is wrong to put the elderly in a nursing homes especially if the elderly can still work and live a full life. Even if, they put the elderly in a nursing home, they shouldn’t forget to visit. If you forget to visit then the elderly will think you don’t care about them. I don’t think families should put their elderly in a nursing home because these nursing homes can be abusive. These nursing homes can treat the elderly like children instead of treating them like human beings and grownups. These nursing homes also don’t let the families of the elderly visit.
ReplyDeleteKevin246
Amen Kevin! You nailed that one. I all so think it is wrong to put people in nursing homes. Most of the time the families don't visit and if they do its only on special occasions. All the nursing homes i have been in to, don't give the care to the patients that they need. They are there to collect their paycheck and that's about it. I can't say that about all nursing homes because I have only been in about 30, but out of those 30, there was not one that I could imagine sticking one of my family members in. Good Job! CooCoo246
DeleteUnfortunately, a lot of people now a days do not have the time nor patience for their elders. Personally, I feel going to a nursing home is not an option for my parents. I just think if all those years they took care of me through good and bad times I will do everything in my power to do the same, even if that means becoming a nurse. It is enough that so much of their hard earned money goes to medical bills and medications. I do not want them to have to spend the rest of lives with people who do not love them like I do nor can take care of them as I. A majority of their hard earned money will just go to their living at a place that is like a prison to them. Labrador246
ReplyDeleteIts nice to hear others say that its not an option for their parents to end up in a nursing home. It seems like when I ask people why they put their parents in there, the usual response is, they can't take care of them. But my question to them is usually, what if your parents had put you in a foster home because they couldn't take care of you? People usually get really mad or it takes them by surprise. I know parents had it tough at times with all my siblings and I, but they wouldn't of even considered not taking care of us. Its called love people! Your parents are lucky people. God Bless You! CooCoo246
DeleteSometimes love isn't enough to provide someone with the care and attention they need. Just like with kids that go to foster homes, they are there because their parents do not have the ability to care for them, whether its because of money, housing conditions, lack of ability, etc. I think this pertains to nursing homes as well. I know abuse does happen, but maybe a nursing home is a safer option for the elderly than with their relatives who just lack the ability to care for them. I'm not saying that this is true in every situation, but I still think its a situation that exists and should still be considered. YellowSubmarine246
DeleteThis song sure touches the reality a lot of seniors have to face in life. When she starts talking about visiting the “old folk’s home,” and the story about mama, I felt like she was talking about my mom’s aunt. Just like the “good” son left his mama (after taking care of his children).My mother’s aunt married someone rich (a business man) and had my mother’s grandmother raise her children (four children), she would wash their clothes, take care of them, educate them and also take care of her daughter’s house. When my great grandmother got health problems and became ill, she was left by them (two of her grandkids became doctors but never looked after her). She was pretty much forgotten by them. They would not call on her birthday because her birthday was at the same day as her granddaughter’s birthday so she would have a big celebration for her daughter and forget about her mother. My great grandmother had four children, but only my mother’s mom took her to her house to take care of her till the end. The good daughter (my mother’s aunt) didn’t even go to her mother’s funeral because she was on vacation. This is what happens to a lot of the seniors that are left like an old bag at the “old folk’s home.” Doglover246
ReplyDeleteThis song illustrated a form of ageism, with the son trying to put his mother in a nursing home because of her behavior and to allow someone younger to perform her job. It is sad that people in our society feel that it is acceptable to put an elderly relative in a nursing home because they no longer approve of their behavior. The reasoning to move the mother to a nursing home to enable a younger person to perform her job of helping raise the grandchildren is reflective of the structural functional approach’s disengagement theory. One thing I struggle with is the mother allowing this to happen, as if she was unable of saying no and simply finding a new place to live. Certainly conditions, such as poverty, could eliminate the ability to find one’s own place to live. As we all inevitably become elderly we can only hope that we do not find ourselves in such a predicament.
ReplyDeleteGlide246
This song makes me really proud of my family. I have had two of my grandparents pass away last year and my family refused to put either of them in a nursing home. My parents and their siblings gave up a lot of time to care for them the last few months they where with us. All of our free time was spent at their house caring for them and it was really nice that nurses could come and check on them everyday. We were able to keep them at home and surround them with family until the day that they passed away. It was really hard to see them go and i would not have wanted it to be any different. I just hope that one day i will be as strong as my family and keep my parents out of a nursing home. -Tyler246
ReplyDeleteI agree that this is definitely something for your family to be proud of. I just think about families that can't afford to have nurses stop by. Families where both parents have to work full time to support themselves and their elderly parents and can not be home to check in on the grandparent. When an elderly person starts to get senile or alzheimers they can no longer take care of themselves and can very easily put themselves in danger. I think in some situations, as sad as it is, there are just no other options. YellowSubmarine246
DeleteI am proud of your family for the sacrafices they made to care for your grandparents. I know it is not always easy and sometimes can become near impossible. When my grandmother started to show signs that she was having diffculties caring for her self, my family stepped up. Everyone had their part and she was only alone for 6 hours through the night. She eventually had a stroke and we were no longer able to give her they care she needed and had to be place in a nursing home. This was not what any of us wanted. She still was not alone much there because we all took turns visiting and doing what we could. She passed away there but I know she knew she was loved and cherished by her family. Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions. GMD246
DeleteDoes it reflect where we are with the elderly? I would say for most part yes. Families aren't as close as they use to be. The grandparents aren't treated with as much respect or as much importance as they use to be. Growing up in my family, we go to my grandparents house for every holiday. Now that they are getting too old, my parents have all the holidays at their house. One day when they get too old, one of my sisters or I will take over. I always told my mom that there would be no way I could ever put her or my father in a home. Working in that field has opened up my eyes. Seeing the elderly all alone in their rooms, no family every stopping by, except maybe for a holiday, breaks my heart. This story that she just told, was amazing. Money can't buy happiness, but love can! CooCoo246
ReplyDeleteI agree and disagree with you all at the same time. This is where some of us are with the elderly. Maybe not the exact situation, but in how many older movies do we hear the term “respect your elder”. And I feel like our generation has no respect for those older than them. However, I think that there is an exception and you do still see the goodness in some people when dealing with elderly. Bullardml13-246
DeleteI don’t think this song necessarily describes where we are with the elderly today. I thought it more closely described the story of a selfish son. Even though his mother was crying and didn’t want to be taken to a nursing home, he forced her to anyway. She was able to take care of herself, it just wasn’t the most convenient situation for her son. I suppose there may be some people like this today, but it has been my experience that people who are sending their elderly relatives to nursing homes are those that really have no other options. The older people may require too much care or constant surveillance to ensure they don’t hurt themselves. Their relatives might not have the money or resources to help their relatives be comfortable and safe. I have not met anyone yet that is just too selfish to keep their elderly relatives with them. They usually just aren’t able to take care of them themselves any longer. YellowSubmarine246
ReplyDeleteI agree. I believe this is mostly about a son and his selfishness not caring about how much he is hurting his mother the one who worked head and foot day in and day out to make sure he become something in life and this is how he repay her. I don't believe it gets anymore selfish than that.
DeleteElbow-knee_246
I agree with you that the son is being selfish. The mother sounded more than capable of taking care of herself. I have not met anyone in this situation either. In fact I have a friend who is in the opposite situation. Her dad suffers from dementia so severe that he has disappeared for a day before. However, his wife does not want to send him to a nursing home (despite the fact that it’s where he really needs to be) for fear that she is a failure. Bullardml13-246
DeleteNursing home placement is tough, some it may not be as tough because of the lack of care. I know I would do anything I could to keep my family out of them just because what I have seen. Even if family can not take care of them there are people who can come take care of them at home 24/7. People just automatically think that since they are unable to care for themselves that they need to go in a home. This song is the truth in many peoples lives more than we know, one is always "better" in their eyes until it comes down to having to do something for their parents than it is whatever is convenient for them. The outcome of this song was such a good one, because sometimes people do not have that other "child" to take them under their wing.
ReplyDeletefeb246
I understand that due to the fact that both adults running a household have to work now a days to make ends meet, so that has unfortunately made it that much harder for people to be able to care for their elderly family members. You need the money to support them but earning the money takes you away from the home and unable to give proper care, so people think its a better option for both parties sometimes to place the elderly in a nursing home. If any of you have ever gone to a nursing home, how many patients do you see getting visitors? I have seldom seem a lot and it always seems there is an elderly person or two or three sitting in a wheel chair in a hallway somewhere looking like they have absolutely no clue what is going on around them. I think that's a horrible way to live out the rest of your years, hell, even if your completely senile who wants to stair at a wall or look out the same window for hours a day. That's not the way I want to spend my days and I don't want to see my family members spend their time that way either. Its a sad reality that the elderly get tossed to the side like "yesterdays news" in some cases but it is even sadder when resources or circumstances keep anyone from being able to care for a loved one at home they way they would like and are forced to choose a nursing home. This song ended with a sweet note to a bad situation, I wish that was true for more real life situations. mfroggyus246
ReplyDeleteThis song is touching. A man who has everything abandoning his mom because of his wife and no need for her service anymore, and a man who has nothing taking in that same mom who was being abandon. This is what we can refer to as aging disengagement. Once someone reaches a certain age you basically through them away they become useless. This is very sad but there are probably millions of families that do this. I'm glad I was given the family I have and we were taught way better than that. We will never disown anyone. We will take care of them until it is impossible for us to do it on our own, and even then if they have to go to a nursing home or anything like that there will always be someone visiting every single day making sure they are ok and well taken care of. Disengagement is something we don't nor will ever practice in our family.
ReplyDeleteElbow-knee_246
I am so glad that your family is not like the one in the song. It is such a heart breaker hearing how elderly get shoved in the nursing home just because it is at times an inconvenience for them. It is easiest to drop someone off and let the others "do the work." It is easiest to schedule holidays around them without having to take them places and getting them to and from places. In which you see a lot of that taking place in homes. Props to you & your family!
Deletefeb246
Clearly this woman was very frustrated. She gave everything she had for her son to get the proper education, and be somebody. Then like nothing he pretty much says that he doesn’t want her living with them because she is doing certain things wrong. Sounds like to me that the woman is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She is not deviant, nor causing any trouble to the “good son” other than some bad English. It’s a shame that the mama can work hard her whole life and the son just gets rid of her one day. What they are not thinking about is the activity theory. The mama might take great pride in working around the house and should she go to the old folks home it might take the sense of dignity away from her. A lot of times when the elderly have their dignity taken away from them, or their sense of worth their health starts to deteriorate at a faster pace than it typically would have. Bullardml13-246
ReplyDeleteI love this gospel. It spoke to truth of how some of our society treats their parents. I know several people who once they did not need the "Free" childcare anymore dismissed their mothers. Little did they realize that while mom was taking care of the grandkids she was not bring in an income or sold her house because now she was staying with her children. Once they were done they told them to leave or took them to an assisted living center. Once couple visited her twice and then said they would not come back because she was crazy, senile. She has been in the assisted living center for 15 years now and they do nor do the grandkids she raised come see her. I feel sorry for her, she is not crazy or senile, she is infact bitter, angry and depressed that the people she loved the most have treated her like this. I have tried to facilitate a reunion with my friend, her granddaughter, but she will not in fear of her parents. This women has no one, the age of gerontocarcy is no longer the way it once was. This saddens me that people throw away family because they get older and dont need them any more. GMD246
ReplyDeleteThis is a sad song, not just for the mother but for the son. In America today parents are just not respected like they used to be. The son was so selfish and cared more about his kids proper language than having family to love and care for him.
ReplyDeleteAlthough this is a sad song I don't really see this happening to much these days, where kids are forcing their parents into a home. I work at a nursing home and get to see how people react to moving in. The home I work for also does home-care and that is a more popular trend these days. I think that is partly due to money. Nursing homes are expensive. More kids these days are keeping their parents home longer. Even then hospice is stepping in and doing end of life care. It's a really nice feature for people wanting tho stay in their homes.
Most of the people moving in to the home are people who are looking to down size to something smaller as to not be a burden to their kids when they pass, or are people who require to much nursing care to be cared for at home. As far as I have seen lately people are not being forced to move in to a nursing home against their will. I'm glad because it can destroy child parent relationships that are so valuable
Kristen246
This society is seems to not take to the elderly quiet as well. Over the years as the world changes I think society starts to lose those respect for our elderly. I understand they felt like the grandmother wad a bit to much, but she is a well and healthy women who is still capable of taking care of herself . Sometimes younger people get so caught up and their lives that they forget about how important it is for us to be there for our elderly. The ones who worked hard to get is where we are today. Ageism is serious and its starting to become a normal thing. ladiKay_246
ReplyDeleteI agree, Ageism is becoming a social norm. Most people get too caught up in their own lives to understand how lonely the elderly get especially if they have lost their significant other. It is because of the elderly that we are who we are today, and we should respect them for that.
DeleteWISCO_hurdler246
I feel like just because you put your parents or grandparents in a nursing home doesn't make them bad kids. I honestly would never do that but i don't judge people for doing so. I am very close to my family and they are very independent. Their situation may just not have the time or resources to take decent care of them. Now that's different then ditching your own family just because you need a "computer room" or your just annoyed by them they after all more then likely helped raise you or another person in your family so dropping them off at a nursing home then would be highly disrespectful but they wouldn't have nursing homes if they didn't serve a greater purpose then a place to ditch your elders. For the most part they take good care them maybe better then the family could.
ReplyDelete-WISCO_hurdler246