When it comes to romance, do men only take part in the beginning, and lose this sense of excitement over time, or do they simply allow for more rational and pressing thoughts take precedence? Men in fact have been socialized differently, and as a result, generally express feelings in a different manner than women do. Women tend to get lost in their emotions, and tend to let them be expressed more freely than men will. For guys, their emotions will be bottled up, and they are taught to never show emotions that make them seem weak and vulnerable. This includes crying, and public expressions of romance. This is a main reason why Matt Drayton is not initially deterred by the love his daughter shares with a black man, no matter how successful he is. Because of this suppression of emotions, Mary Prentice feels that Matt and her husband simply do not remember what it was like to be in love, otherwise, they would be more accepting of their children’s love for each other, no matter how unconventional. According to Matt, the women are unable to look at all sides of the “situation” because they are lost in the romantic daze. Matt and John Prentice Sr. feel that they are cheated on time to think about what has happened, because for men, they would rather look at all sides, and contemplate whether or not this marriage is really what is best for their children. The parents originally all felt that this was the worst possible situation that Joanne and John could be in, however, because of the women’s attraction to romance, and their children’s happiness, they were the first to come around, and actually support the relationship. Through further consideration, Matt understood where the Mary was coming from, but he did feel slightly offended for being accused of not knowing what it was like to be in love, when in fact, he still had the same feelings for his wife, and always would. Matt realized that the point that Mary was trying to make was true, and it helped him to accept the events that were about to unfold. Sandydog001
I agree, most men are taught to act different. So maybe that has something to do with most men not being as interested in the woman he is with over time. GRUNT001
I agree that Mr. Grayton was blinded at first and then Mr. Presentice comes and they side together which gives him a bigger reason to be mad, but also he is compatible with an african american without even realizing it, him and Mr. Prentice kind of pick a side and team up. Now isn't this also bad, a black man and a white man teaming up. No because they agree on something and are alike, just as John and Joanna are alike and truly love each other, so therefore have a common mindset just as their fathers did. Yatchy001
I think this is a powerful clip from the movie. I think that for many older men their body no longer work like they use to work and they may tend to feel out of place or ashamed that they can’t please their wife any longer for what ever reason. Maybe men get into a groove when they have been married for many years to a woman and then they forget to do the things they once did. And I think in our culture in todays society the normally for men that are getting older, its ok for them to be forgetful and to not put as much effort into things as they once would have. Maybe men feel like after so many years that they have done everything they can for the woman they are with and then loose passion towards them because they no longer no how to restart what was once between them. GRUNT001
I feel like you've made some very interesting points about men losing interest, or losing the effort that they once put into the relationship. I feel that this can also be said for women. The initial part of a relationship is where everyone puts forth as much effort as possible, in order to keep it. After the relationship has been steady for many years, there really isn't much of a reason to put in so much effort. It doesn't necessarily mean that feelings are lost, but it also doesn't mean that everyone carries the original feelings of the relationship for decades. Sandydog001
I would almost argue that our culture is pushing the ideal man to have passion in their life well into old age. The culture of Viagra and medications like that have given the perception of what an older man can really be like. This new culture may fix their libido and drive but may not mend an emotional disconnect from life. FireFan001
I think women's feelings definitely take control of most of their thinking and how they do things. It is a very good question do men loose the feeling they had when they first fall in love or are they thinking about the consequences of their children actions? It can go both ways because a father is supposed to protect their child's well-being. They also should remember what they felt with the women that helped him make that child that he is supposed to be taking care of. I think it can go both ways but I do think that if two people really love each other and want to be together then they should be together instead of being heartbroken and apart from each other.Ri001
I agree that women are socialized to be more emotional, but I don't think that it is a bad thing when a women is emotional because, when it comes to marriage, emotions are a big part of it. Social-exchange theorists might argue that relationships are based on what each person can give the other, but what people bring to the table isn't just money, or prestige, it is also compassion and loyalty, two very emotional assets. HAL001
I don’t believe that men are losing their passion affects their ability to make decisions. I believe that men are conforming to their societal roles, like Matt Drayton. Family dynamic and gender roles within the family are a sociological component of the film. According to the conflict theory, family contributes to social inequality by reinforcing patriarchy. Patriarchy is the idea that the father is in control of the household. This becomes evident because it is the approval of Joanna’s father that John seeks. At the end of the film, it all comes down to Matt to make the final decision on the interracial marriage. This is because a family institution was still patriarchically focused in 1967. It is said that family reinforces a society’s system of stratification. It is the parents job to convey the societal expectations to their children. This is one reason why Matt and John Sr. are so opposed to interracial marriage. This is the father’s main role in the family structure, holding down the core values of society. Women also have a distinct role. The mother is a major source of practical and emotional support within the family. This is one reason why both mothers are so open to the interracial marriage. There is one scene in particular in which Christina and Joey are discussing the matter of marriage. Here Christina reinforces her love for Joey and her acceptance of the life choices she makes. In the same way we see Christina comfort Joey, Mary is able to provide emotional support for John. Women and men have two distinct gender roles with the family structure. Any disturbance in the gender role aspect may affect the smooth functioning of the easy-going of any family. This explains the power struggle between the mothers and the fathers toward the end of the film. FireFan001
Because the parents have to meet the expectations of society and fit the gender roles of their family I feel it is harder for them to express their own personal feelings and be the person that they really are. Matt feels that he has to meet this standard that society has created men to be and therefor, he does not focus on the feelings he once had for his wife, trying to relate to the children. He has changed over time through social forces and this affects his behavior throughout the entire movie.
Traditionally, because of socialization, men tend to take a different approach than women when it comes to making decisions. This isn't true for all men and women, but it is in the case of this movie. Mr. Drayton and Mr. Prentice have been socialized to be rational, while Mrs. Drayton and Mrs. Prentice have been socialized to be emotional. For some reason, being emotional is seen as something less important than being rational, but in this case, emotions matter more. Not to say that relationships shouldn't be at all rational, but there has to be a balance. Mr. Drayton is looking at the situation purely from a rational perspective. Mrs. Prentice is trying to persuade him that emotions matter. She says that he doesn't remember what it's like to be in love, but Mr. Drayton didn't really forget, he just pretended to in order to fit that male role. Towards the end of the movie, the men always break away to talk one-on-one with each person instead of having their conversations out in the open. This too, is a lot about gender roles and how men would rather display emotions in private instead of out in the open. HAL001
I like how you said relationships should be about balance. Not that Mr. Drayton was completely wrong about being rational and practical, but that there needs to be a little bit of both in a family. In this case the parents needed to ignore all social norms and difficulties why it wouldn't work, and focus on the fact they were in love and that's all that matters. It's what brought them together, and so why should they not be allowed to be married. MacD001
I think that while aging and conforming to social roles, both men and women can forget what's true. I think in a way it's a choice if we choose to let ourselves forget. Clearly it’s not intentional though, like in the movie. Mr. Drayton, once he realized, felt extremely more considerate and sensitive towards the things he once felt towards fifty years ago, and he admits it. Thankfully there are women in the world which I believe never lose that. Again I thought it was cool how in the beginning we could see the gender differences and see how Mr. Drayton saw her side completely different. Then towards the end of the night, Mr. Drayton realized how blinded he was and forgot what was really important; love. I think it’s interesting how people think it’s ok for men to have to act tough and not show emotion, ever since they were younger. I think in a way this plays into how men act in marriages and dating relationships. After a while we start to realize that no, it’s not masculinity or simply gender differences, but ignoring the importance of sensitivity and the emotional reasoning of things. I think this was a perfect ending to the movie because it showed that yes, men and women think and reason differently. Because of their differences doesn’t mean one is superior than the other, but instead each gender gives it’s own input used to strengthen and encourage the other in significant ways. MacD001
Sometimes that blindness can get the best of some marriages as they grow older together. It is great to see some men show their pride and confidence but also show how sensitive they can be when it comes to something that matters the most to them and it’s something that most of them would never admit. Pineapples001
The “cupcake” phase of a relationship is when all of your passion and emotions are spread out on the table for your opponent to see if either you win or you lose the game. Most of us in the world when we both win it’s a euphoria that can’t ever be explained by words alone. You think to yourself how more of a lucky man or woman can I be? I found someone who has noticed me in a crowd of people and I’m the one that stands out to your up most attention. You go on plenty of dates and gain plenty of memories. You also go through rough times with that person because in a committed relationship that other person is supposed to be your back bone when you can’t stand up on your own. You take things to next level and get married and when you’ve had your wild fun in the beginning you get pregnant and have children to pass on the great memories you’ve shared together. It’s around this time when you notice a man’s sexual passion starts to decrease and you can tell that it’s something they try to spice up because they feel they bore you or maybe the woman is the one in control and sometimes he can get bored. When the women notices the same thing they try new things and after noticing how silly it is they suddenly remember how much they love each other and that’s all that matters when it comes to true love. So in my main approach to this question is it’s not that men have forgotten how to love because they haven’t. It’s the room for more space that you have for memories that still can be created with each other and that it’s never too late to know how it feels from the very beginning. Pineapples001
That euphoria that people feel when they're in love is something that may be typically seen as only happening in the beginning, but it can certainly happen again as an elder. Like you stated, you remember how much you love each other and that's all that matters when it comes to true love. If two people really are right for each other, they're going to continuously feel that euphoria when they remember exactly why they fell for that person in the first place. Aloha001
People go through the "honeymoon" stage of their relationship and once this is over things are very much different for the relationship. Mary Prentice explains to Matt that he and her husband John Sr. once felt the feelings that John feels for Joanna, but it is sad that they cannot relate to his feelings towards her. She says that they must not even remember how they have once felt because if they did they would not be making the poor decisions that they are. Mary knows that it is unfair to take this type of thing away from John and Joanna and that it is not in their place to tell them if they can or cannot be together based upon this love that they have together, whether they are two different races or not. Society has a large impact on the way a man expresses his feelings, which explains why Matt acts the way that he does. The influences of society and the way men are socialized teaches them that they are not supposed to be sensitive towards situations like this one. Even if it has to do with your own child's fate and happiness. While women tend to care more for others situations because they try and relate to the situation and take into consideration how the other person feels. Society teaches women to be sensitive and caring. Women are emotional and express these emotional feelings far more often than men do. Society teaches men not to cry in public, to be a man and really just not let things get to you. But doing this affects far more than just if the public sees a man cry or not. It makes men feel like they are held to this standard and if they do not meet it then people will think less of the person that they are. This is why Matt has suppressed emotions until the end because he is supposed to be societies version of a man.
I really like how Mrs. Prentice used the choice of words she did, because she really triggered an emotional spot his Mr. Drayton's heart. He then realized and remembered how he felt when he was in that honeymoon stage and decided to change his mind about his reservations towards the marriage and give them his blessing. chicagoblackhawks001
When most people fall in love, they go through a honeymoon stage. When that honeymoon stage is over, they enter real love, and some often forget about how in love they are during that honeymoon stage. This is what Mrs. Prentice was trying to explain to Mr. Drayton, that he forgot what it feels like to be so in love with a woman, and how heartbreaking it is going to be for Dr. Prentice and Ms. Drayton when they find out that Mr. Drayton is unapproving of their relationship. That is when it really hit Mr. Drayton, on how his daughter feels, and he quickly corrected Mrs. Prentice that he loves his wife just as much as he did when he fell in love with her. And that is when everything changed. Mr. Drayton decided he was going to appeal his first thought and have his daughter go through with the wedding with Dr. Prentice, with his blessing. During this time, (and throughout the whole movie until the end) Joey had not a clue that her dad had any reservations, and she also did not know that her future husband told her parents that he will not go through with the wedding if they had any reservations. Also, Mr. Prentice at this time was still not on board and the movie never really shows that he accepts the relationship, unless by him sitting down at the dinner table was a symbol of him approving it. When Mr. Drayton has his long speech at the end, Joey is kind of confused, because she thought he already approved the marriage. Soon after, her father tells her that Dr. Prentice told him that if there are any reservations, that he will not go through with the wedding, and that clearly upset her. Soon after her dad explains that they will have issues with society judging them, but they will just have to look past that. chicagoblackhawks001
John Prentice’s mother is lecturing Matt Drayton in this scene. She is trying to talk some sense into him. She knows that this situation with their kids is not as big of an issue as they are making it out to be. John Prentice Sr. and Matt Drayton both think it is a horrible idea. Neither of the fathers think the relationship would actually work out. Because of this, both want to advise their own children not to follow through with the marriage. However, Mary Prentice gets a chance to sit down with Matt Drayton and talk to him. She tells hims something like that if he has ever felt like how her son feels about Joey, then he has forgotten what it felt like. Mary Prentice is basically just telling Matt Drayton that he is wrong. She says that him and her husband are only thinking about this logically. They only see how the kids have a problem and they do not stop to actually think about how the kids actually feel about each other. After Mary Prentice says these things to Matt Drayton, he kind of was offended that she told him he did not love his wife, Christina Drayton, as much as John Prentice loves Joey Drayton. I don't necessarily think that men lose their passion but I think its something else. I think that as people grow old together they get into routines and the newness of the relationship just wears away. I think both people somewhat lose their passion due to this routine and comfort. But his passion isn't totally gone because he just needed to be reminded how much he loved her to get it back. Saur001
Men and women have always been seen as so drastically different mentally and just overall internally. It has been accepted that men are just less in touch with their feelings and more rational thinkers. Women however are looked at as being completely emotional beings and for a disgustingly long period of time and still today, can be thought of as irrational and less intelligent overall. Over time, we have come to realize this is not entirely true at all and that women are just as capable of making rational decisions as men can make emotional ones. When Mrs. Prentice is speaking with Joey’s father, things get very emotional very quickly. She tells him, “I believe, when men grow old, when sexual things no longer matter to them they forget it all, forget what true passion is”. Mrs. Prentice could have some truth to what she is saying, although it’s a pretty harsh statement to make. In this situation, Mrs. Prentice was only looking at her husband and Mr. Drayton, so it is easy to see how she could make them rationalization due to the fact that had not once mentioned anything about Joey and John loving each other and caring for each other. All they cared about was the problems they will face and what people will think. We know this to not matter in the slightest now because what you need is the right person for you, whom you love. Mrs. Prentice and Mrs. Drayton really honed in on the passion they saw in John and Joanna. However, the men were completely blind to it at first. Mrs. Prentice stating that over time, men lose that passion for their wives is like saying all men just fall out of love due to the socialization process. The socialization process is the lifelong journey of attaining and losing cultural norms, ideas, values, etc. This is something that must happen for everyone, and like the ending scene of the movie when Joey’s father makes his elaborate speech, he didn’t lose any passion or love for his wife due to this process. He just needed some time to drop that typical stereotype of being a man and needed to look at it through his emotional side. Aloha001
I like how you brought up the socialization process, I agree that that does does have an affect on men and their normal self. I REALLY like how you ended your reply... He did need some time to drop the stereotype just as all men do especially when talking to or interacting with the one they are together with or love. Yatchy001
Mrs. Prentice states in the movie when having a conversation about love with Mr. Drayton, “I believe, when men grow old, when sexual things no longer matter to them they forget it all, forget what true passion is”. I agree but disagree with this. Many men do lose passion throughout a relationship and I would think especially if you were an old man, I could see the wife of an old man getting the idea that the man has lost the intensified version of passion due to the lack of sex or anything sexual. Some people or couples think of sex more or only as making love, therefore if they cannot make love then maybe he or in some situations but not usually she will lose the passion or just not show the passion that they used to have. Especially when you grow old with a person you have been with you must remind them of your love for each other, your memories together, and that you do not need to go downstairs in order to love that person. The personality of your husband or wife should be what you have passion for and of course just a little on looks and others things of that sort. So overall I do not think men loose passion, I think there's is a majority of things that act upon a man especially of older age and unable to move and maybe do the things he used to do. Love does not have to be shown through sexual affairs and men know that. The reason why Mrs. Prentice says this is probably because her husband has been busty working as a mailman and maybe has not just took the extra minute or two too express his true love and remembrance for why he marries her. Yachy001
Family is of a huge importance to Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner. You can see the change in the way of thinking of just one generation through Joanna and John compared to their parents. John makes the statement, “You think of yourself as a colored man and I see myself as a man” when having an argument with his father about the consequences of interracial marriage. Also the quote where Mrs. Drayton explains how Joanna is exactly how she was raised to be falls into this argument. Joanna and John’s parents taught them that all the races are equal but they themselves were not fully accustomed to the idea. This also shows that how people raise their children does have an affect on them and that people are not born thinking one race is better than another. It is a learned way of thinking. Gender Stratification is another social issue addressed in this film. Joanna and John’s mothers are much more open hearted to the idea of their children getting married than their husbands are. Women psychologically are wired differently than men are which contributes to the mothers’ quick acceptance of their children’s marriage. Females are more in touch with their feelings and are more likely to be affected that way than males. Men try to think issues through logically so Mr. Drayton and Mr. Prentice were hung up on the safety of their children and what could possible happen if they were to go through with the marriage. Sleepyhead001
When it comes to romance, do men only take part in the beginning, and lose this sense of excitement over time, or do they simply allow for more rational and pressing thoughts take precedence? Men in fact have been socialized differently, and as a result, generally express feelings in a different manner than women do. Women tend to get lost in their emotions, and tend to let them be expressed more freely than men will. For guys, their emotions will be bottled up, and they are taught to never show emotions that make them seem weak and vulnerable. This includes crying, and public expressions of romance. This is a main reason why Matt Drayton is not initially deterred by the love his daughter shares with a black man, no matter how successful he is. Because of this suppression of emotions, Mary Prentice feels that Matt and her husband simply do not remember what it was like to be in love, otherwise, they would be more accepting of their children’s love for each other, no matter how unconventional. According to Matt, the women are unable to look at all sides of the “situation” because they are lost in the romantic daze. Matt and John Prentice Sr. feel that they are cheated on time to think about what has happened, because for men, they would rather look at all sides, and contemplate whether or not this marriage is really what is best for their children. The parents originally all felt that this was the worst possible situation that Joanne and John could be in, however, because of the women’s attraction to romance, and their children’s happiness, they were the first to come around, and actually support the relationship. Through further consideration, Matt understood where the Mary was coming from, but he did feel slightly offended for being accused of not knowing what it was like to be in love, when in fact, he still had the same feelings for his wife, and always would. Matt realized that the point that Mary was trying to make was true, and it helped him to accept the events that were about to unfold. Sandydog001
ReplyDeleteI agree, most men are taught to act different. So maybe that has something to do with most men not being as interested in the woman he is with over time.
DeleteGRUNT001
I agree that Mr. Grayton was blinded at first and then Mr. Presentice comes and they side together which gives him a bigger reason to be mad, but also he is compatible with an african american without even realizing it, him and Mr. Prentice kind of pick a side and team up. Now isn't this also bad, a black man and a white man teaming up. No because they agree on something and are alike, just as John and Joanna are alike and truly love each other, so therefore have a common mindset just as their fathers did. Yatchy001
DeleteI think this is a powerful clip from the movie. I think that for many older men their body no longer work like they use to work and they may tend to feel out of place or ashamed that they can’t please their wife any longer for what ever reason. Maybe men get into a groove when they have been married for many years to a woman and then they forget to do the things they once did. And I think in our culture in todays society the normally for men that are getting older, its ok for them to be forgetful and to not put as much effort into things as they once would have. Maybe men feel like after so many years that they have done everything they can for the woman they are with and then loose passion towards them because they no longer no how to restart what was once between them.
ReplyDeleteGRUNT001
I feel like you've made some very interesting points about men losing interest, or losing the effort that they once put into the relationship. I feel that this can also be said for women. The initial part of a relationship is where everyone puts forth as much effort as possible, in order to keep it. After the relationship has been steady for many years, there really isn't much of a reason to put in so much effort. It doesn't necessarily mean that feelings are lost, but it also doesn't mean that everyone carries the original feelings of the relationship for decades. Sandydog001
DeleteI would almost argue that our culture is pushing the ideal man to have passion in their life well into old age. The culture of Viagra and medications like that have given the perception of what an older man can really be like. This new culture may fix their libido and drive but may not mend an emotional disconnect from life. FireFan001
DeleteI think women's feelings definitely take control of most of their thinking and how they do things. It is a very good question do men loose the feeling they had when they first fall in love or are they thinking about the consequences of their children actions? It can go both ways because a father is supposed to protect their child's well-being. They also should remember what they felt with the women that helped him make that child that he is supposed to be taking care of. I think it can go both ways but I do think that if two people really love each other and want to be together then they should be together instead of being heartbroken and apart from each other.Ri001
ReplyDeleteI agree that women are socialized to be more emotional, but I don't think that it is a bad thing when a women is emotional because, when it comes to marriage, emotions are a big part of it. Social-exchange theorists might argue that relationships are based on what each person can give the other, but what people bring to the table isn't just money, or prestige, it is also compassion and loyalty, two very emotional assets. HAL001
DeleteI don’t believe that men are losing their passion affects their ability to make decisions. I believe that men are conforming to their societal roles, like Matt Drayton. Family dynamic and gender roles within the family are a sociological component of the film. According to the conflict theory, family contributes to social inequality by reinforcing patriarchy. Patriarchy is the idea that the father is in control of the household. This becomes evident because it is the approval of Joanna’s father that John seeks. At the end of the film, it all comes down to Matt to make the final decision on the interracial marriage. This is because a family institution was still patriarchically focused in 1967. It is said that family reinforces a society’s system of stratification. It is the parents job to convey the societal expectations to their children. This is one reason why Matt and John Sr. are so opposed to interracial marriage. This is the father’s main role in the family structure, holding down the core values of society. Women also have a distinct role. The mother is a major source of practical and emotional support within the family. This is one reason why both mothers are so open to the interracial marriage. There is one scene in particular in which Christina and Joey are discussing the matter of marriage. Here Christina reinforces her love for Joey and her acceptance of the life choices she makes. In the same way we see Christina comfort Joey, Mary is able to provide emotional support for John. Women and men have two distinct gender roles with the family structure. Any disturbance in the gender role aspect may affect the smooth functioning of the easy-going of any family. This explains the power struggle between the mothers and the fathers toward the end of the film. FireFan001
ReplyDeleteBecause the parents have to meet the expectations of society and fit the gender roles of their family I feel it is harder for them to express their own personal feelings and be the person that they really are. Matt feels that he has to meet this standard that society has created men to be and therefor, he does not focus on the feelings he once had for his wife, trying to relate to the children. He has changed over time through social forces and this affects his behavior throughout the entire movie.
Deletesass001
Traditionally, because of socialization, men tend to take a different approach than women when it comes to making decisions. This isn't true for all men and women, but it is in the case of this movie. Mr. Drayton and Mr. Prentice have been socialized to be rational, while Mrs. Drayton and Mrs. Prentice have been socialized to be emotional. For some reason, being emotional is seen as something less important than being rational, but in this case, emotions matter more. Not to say that relationships shouldn't be at all rational, but there has to be a balance. Mr. Drayton is looking at the situation purely from a rational perspective. Mrs. Prentice is trying to persuade him that emotions matter. She says that he doesn't remember what it's like to be in love, but Mr. Drayton didn't really forget, he just pretended to in order to fit that male role. Towards the end of the movie, the men always break away to talk one-on-one with each person instead of having their conversations out in the open. This too, is a lot about gender roles and how men would rather display emotions in private instead of out in the open. HAL001
ReplyDeleteI like how you said relationships should be about balance. Not that Mr. Drayton was completely wrong about being rational and practical, but that there needs to be a little bit of both in a family. In this case the parents needed to ignore all social norms and difficulties why it wouldn't work, and focus on the fact they were in love and that's all that matters. It's what brought them together, and so why should they not be allowed to be married. MacD001
DeleteI think that while aging and conforming to social roles, both men and women can forget what's true. I think in a way it's a choice if we choose to let ourselves forget. Clearly it’s not intentional though, like in the movie. Mr. Drayton, once he realized, felt extremely more considerate and sensitive towards the things he once felt towards fifty years ago, and he admits it. Thankfully there are women in the world which I believe never lose that. Again I thought it was cool how in the beginning we could see the gender differences and see how Mr. Drayton saw her side completely different. Then towards the end of the night, Mr. Drayton realized how blinded he was and forgot what was really important; love. I think it’s interesting how people think it’s ok for men to have to act tough and not show emotion, ever since they were younger. I think in a way this plays into how men act in marriages and dating relationships. After a while we start to realize that no, it’s not masculinity or simply gender differences, but ignoring the importance of sensitivity and the emotional reasoning of things. I think this was a perfect ending to the movie because it showed that yes, men and women think and reason differently. Because of their differences doesn’t mean one is superior than the other, but instead each gender gives it’s own input used to strengthen and encourage the other in significant ways. MacD001
ReplyDeleteSometimes that blindness can get the best of some marriages as they grow older together. It is great to see some men show their pride and confidence but also show how sensitive they can be when it comes to something that matters the most to them and it’s something that most of them would never admit. Pineapples001
DeleteThe “cupcake” phase of a relationship is when all of your passion and emotions are spread out on the table for your opponent to see if either you win or you lose the game. Most of us in the world when we both win it’s a euphoria that can’t ever be explained by words alone. You think to yourself how more of a lucky man or woman can I be? I found someone who has noticed me in a crowd of people and I’m the one that stands out to your up most attention. You go on plenty of dates and gain plenty of memories. You also go through rough times with that person because in a committed relationship that other person is supposed to be your back bone when you can’t stand up on your own. You take things to next level and get married and when you’ve had your wild fun in the beginning you get pregnant and have children to pass on the great memories you’ve shared together. It’s around this time when you notice a man’s sexual passion starts to decrease and you can tell that it’s something they try to spice up because they feel they bore you or maybe the woman is the one in control and sometimes he can get bored. When the women notices the same thing they try new things and after noticing how silly it is they suddenly remember how much they love each other and that’s all that matters when it comes to true love. So in my main approach to this question is it’s not that men have forgotten how to love because they haven’t. It’s the room for more space that you have for memories that still can be created with each other and that it’s never too late to know how it feels from the very beginning. Pineapples001
ReplyDeleteThat euphoria that people feel when they're in love is something that may be typically seen as only happening in the beginning, but it can certainly happen again as an elder. Like you stated, you remember how much you love each other and that's all that matters when it comes to true love. If two people really are right for each other, they're going to continuously feel that euphoria when they remember exactly why they fell for that person in the first place. Aloha001
DeletePeople go through the "honeymoon" stage of their relationship and once this is over things are very much different for the relationship. Mary Prentice explains to Matt that he and her husband John Sr. once felt the feelings that John feels for Joanna, but it is sad that they cannot relate to his feelings towards her. She says that they must not even remember how they have once felt because if they did they would not be making the poor decisions that they are. Mary knows that it is unfair to take this type of thing away from John and Joanna and that it is not in their place to tell them if they can or cannot be together based upon this love that they have together, whether they are two different races or not. Society has a large impact on the way a man expresses his feelings, which explains why Matt acts the way that he does. The influences of society and the way men are socialized teaches them that they are not supposed to be sensitive towards situations like this one. Even if it has to do with your own child's fate and happiness. While women tend to care more for others situations because they try and relate to the situation and take into consideration how the other person feels. Society teaches women to be sensitive and caring. Women are emotional and express these emotional feelings far more often than men do. Society teaches men not to cry in public, to be a man and really just not let things get to you. But doing this affects far more than just if the public sees a man cry or not. It makes men feel like they are held to this standard and if they do not meet it then people will think less of the person that they are. This is why Matt has suppressed emotions until the end because he is supposed to be societies version of a man.
ReplyDeletesass001
I really like how Mrs. Prentice used the choice of words she did, because she really triggered an emotional spot his Mr. Drayton's heart. He then realized and remembered how he felt when he was in that honeymoon stage and decided to change his mind about his reservations towards the marriage and give them his blessing. chicagoblackhawks001
DeleteWhen most people fall in love, they go through a honeymoon stage. When that honeymoon stage is over, they enter real love, and some often forget about how in love they are during that honeymoon stage. This is what Mrs. Prentice was trying to explain to Mr. Drayton, that he forgot what it feels like to be so in love with a woman, and how heartbreaking it is going to be for Dr. Prentice and Ms. Drayton when they find out that Mr. Drayton is unapproving of their relationship. That is when it really hit Mr. Drayton, on how his daughter feels, and he quickly corrected Mrs. Prentice that he loves his wife just as much as he did when he fell in love with her. And that is when everything changed. Mr. Drayton decided he was going to appeal his first thought and have his daughter go through with the wedding with Dr. Prentice, with his blessing. During this time, (and throughout the whole movie until the end) Joey had not a clue that her dad had any reservations, and she also did not know that her future husband told her parents that he will not go through with the wedding if they had any reservations. Also, Mr. Prentice at this time was still not on board and the movie never really shows that he accepts the relationship, unless by him sitting down at the dinner table was a symbol of him approving it. When Mr. Drayton has his long speech at the end, Joey is kind of confused, because she thought he already approved the marriage. Soon after, her father tells her that Dr. Prentice told him that if there are any reservations, that he will not go through with the wedding, and that clearly upset her. Soon after her dad explains that they will have issues with society judging them, but they will just have to look past that. chicagoblackhawks001
ReplyDeleteJohn Prentice’s mother is lecturing Matt Drayton in this scene. She is trying to talk some sense into him. She knows that this situation with their kids is not as big of an issue as they are making it out to be. John Prentice Sr. and Matt Drayton both think it is a horrible idea. Neither of the fathers think the relationship would actually work out. Because of this, both want to advise their own children not to follow through with the marriage. However, Mary Prentice gets a chance to sit down with Matt Drayton and talk to him. She tells hims something like that if he has ever felt like how her son feels about Joey, then he has forgotten what it felt like. Mary Prentice is basically just telling Matt Drayton that he is wrong. She says that him and her husband are only thinking about this logically. They only see how the kids have a problem and they do not stop to actually think about how the kids actually feel about each other. After Mary Prentice says these things to Matt Drayton, he kind of was offended that she told him he did not love his wife, Christina Drayton, as much as John Prentice loves Joey Drayton. I don't necessarily think that men lose their passion but I think its something else. I think that as people grow old together they get into routines and the newness of the relationship just wears away. I think both people somewhat lose their passion due to this routine and comfort. But his passion isn't totally gone because he just needed to be reminded how much he loved her to get it back. Saur001
ReplyDeleteMen and women have always been seen as so drastically different mentally and just overall internally. It has been accepted that men are just less in touch with their feelings and more rational thinkers. Women however are looked at as being completely emotional beings and for a disgustingly long period of time and still today, can be thought of as irrational and less intelligent overall. Over time, we have come to realize this is not entirely true at all and that women are just as capable of making rational decisions as men can make emotional ones. When Mrs. Prentice is speaking with Joey’s father, things get very emotional very quickly. She tells him, “I believe, when men grow old, when sexual things no longer matter to them they forget it all, forget what true passion is”. Mrs. Prentice could have some truth to what she is saying, although it’s a pretty harsh statement to make. In this situation, Mrs. Prentice was only looking at her husband and Mr. Drayton, so it is easy to see how she could make them rationalization due to the fact that had not once mentioned anything about Joey and John loving each other and caring for each other. All they cared about was the problems they will face and what people will think. We know this to not matter in the slightest now because what you need is the right person for you, whom you love. Mrs. Prentice and Mrs. Drayton really honed in on the passion they saw in John and Joanna. However, the men were completely blind to it at first. Mrs. Prentice stating that over time, men lose that passion for their wives is like saying all men just fall out of love due to the socialization process. The socialization process is the lifelong journey of attaining and losing cultural norms, ideas, values, etc. This is something that must happen for everyone, and like the ending scene of the movie when Joey’s father makes his elaborate speech, he didn’t lose any passion or love for his wife due to this process. He just needed some time to drop that typical stereotype of being a man and needed to look at it through his emotional side. Aloha001
ReplyDeleteI like how you brought up the socialization process, I agree that that does does have an affect on men and their normal self. I REALLY like how you ended your reply... He did need some time to drop the stereotype just as all men do especially when talking to or interacting with the one they are together with or love. Yatchy001
DeleteMrs. Prentice states in the movie when having a conversation about love with Mr. Drayton, “I believe, when men grow old, when sexual things no longer matter to them they forget it all, forget what true passion is”. I agree but disagree with this. Many men do lose passion throughout a relationship and I would think especially if you were an old man, I could see the wife of an old man getting the idea that the man has lost the intensified version of passion due to the lack of sex or anything sexual. Some people or couples think of sex more or only as making love, therefore if they cannot make love then maybe he or in some situations but not usually she will lose the passion or just not show the passion that they used to have. Especially when you grow old with a person you have been with you must remind them of your love for each other, your memories together, and that you do not need to go downstairs in order to love that person. The personality of your husband or wife should be what you have passion for and of course just a little on looks and others things of that sort. So overall I do not think men loose passion, I think there's is a majority of things that act upon a man especially of older age and unable to move and maybe do the things he used to do. Love does not have to be shown through sexual affairs and men know that. The reason why Mrs. Prentice says this is probably because her husband has been busty working as a mailman and maybe has not just took the extra minute or two too express his true love and remembrance for why he marries her. Yachy001
ReplyDeleteFamily is of a huge importance to Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner. You can see the change in the way of thinking of just one generation through Joanna and John compared to their parents. John makes the statement, “You think of yourself as a colored man and I see myself as a man” when having an argument with his father about the consequences of interracial marriage. Also the quote where Mrs. Drayton explains how Joanna is exactly how she was raised to be falls into this argument. Joanna and John’s parents taught them that all the races are equal but they themselves were not fully accustomed to the idea. This also shows that how people raise their children does have an affect on them and that people are not born thinking one race is better than another. It is a learned way of thinking.
ReplyDeleteGender Stratification is another social issue addressed in this film. Joanna and John’s mothers are much more open hearted to the idea of their children getting married than their husbands are. Women psychologically are wired differently than men are which contributes to the mothers’ quick acceptance of their children’s marriage. Females are more in touch with their feelings and are more likely to be affected that way than males. Men try to think issues through logically so Mr. Drayton and Mr. Prentice were hung up on the safety of their children and what could possible happen if they were to go through with the marriage. Sleepyhead001