Ms. Richards Simply Stated, "I believe when men grow old and sexual things no longer......" Your Thoughts?


Comments

  1. In a way I do agree with her. I can see how she would feel this way especially after seeing how the two husbands reacted to the upcoming wedding. I believe that it's more that women think with their hearts and men think with their minds. The husbands were too focused on what people would say and how society would view them. The wives were focused on the statuses of their hearts. John's mother was probably looking at how how her own situation was at home with John's father. However she still remembers what it's like to fall in love and to be in love with your soulmate no matter who it is and what society thinks. It probably does happen to men when they become older but I feel like men have to work on not letting it happen to them and their relationships. ~peoriahighlionsfootball004

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I too believe that the men were just thinking logically about all the hardships they could face rather than the love and power behind it. We know that women are usually the more emotional and thus find reason in leading with their hearts at times over their minds. When it was brought to his attention he then began to remember and feel how powerful love was.
      -mysonmyworld004

      Delete
    2. I agree how women think with their hearts and men think with their minds. I also noticed that too about how the men were only concerned with what others would think and the challenges the couple would have against society but the women were thinking about the couple's love for one another and yes it would be difficult for them but if they truly loved each other which in the movie they obviously did that they would just have to be strong and stick by each others side. I don't think men lose touch of their feelings when they get older at all. I know they don't because I've seen the love my grandfather would show my grandmother and I've never seen anything more precious. I do think like Dr. White said though that the older people get the more they have to think about and that might have a lot to do with the men having reservations against the marriage, but what they are thinking back on is also a different time and a different life style than the one they were living in so they really needed to take that into consideration too.
      -mybabygirl004

      Delete
  2. I do see why she feels the way that she does. In some respects it is true that some men lose passion as they get older because they're unable to be intimate with their partner. That's the differences between genders. Many men show love thru sex versus women showing love thru actions of the heart. As many women get older they want the "sweep me off my feet love" and it's just not reality. Likewise men want their women to be sex objects and that's not reality, but a compromise has to be met by men. Men have to understand that all love isn't sex. DAM004

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn’t say that men only show love through sex. Yes, sex is important to a man in a relationship but he cares more about the person than just that. If it was all sex he wouldn’t only be with one person. I think that sex is just as important to women they just aren’t as vocal about it as men.
      -DTH004

      Delete
    2. I don’t think that’s always true for the differences in genders. I don’t really think it is true men show love through sex versus women showing it through their actions. I think regardless of the gender you still will show love for the person you are in love with when it is true. The older generations tend to have more chivalry compared to the generation now does not take relationship’s so serious and the respect isn’t there between genders like it used to be. You are more likely to see an older couple still in love and appreciate each other compared to two people in their younger 20’s or teenage years we want the feelings but not the serious relationship. -JustMe1989004

      Delete
  3. Often we believe that men tend to find pleasure in the sexual aspects of a relationship and only the sexual. Whereas for most women it is more the emotional aspect that comes with intimacy. She is referring in my opinion to the drive you have when you love someone. You don’t care what others think or feel, you know that the feeling of being deeply in love with someone is stronger than any ones opinions. When she brings this to his attention he then realizes that he hasn’t completely forgot the feeling. He knows that he loves his wife still just as much as he did many years ago. She awakens a part of his life that he wasn’t considering at first. Yes there will be hardships they have to face but love is love and he realizes how powerful that emotion is. She knew the men where only blinded by the problems that their relationship could cause them to face. The problems that could come from biracial children or different of cultures. The idea of love and its power never crossed their minds. I do believe that men and women can seek, see or feel love differently but like everything, not everyone fits neatly in a group or one way or the other. There are exceptions. I believe that both fathers still loves their wives as much as they ever did. Sometimes we get so caught up in one path to something. Here they were only focused on the problems their children would have to face. They were not seeing it from the side of pure love. The mothers were seeing it from that side because they remember what it’s like to be in love. As mothers we just want our children to be happy and live a good life. Although, still concerned they know that love will out power any problem.
    -mysonmyworld004

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can completely agree with you about how Mrs. Prentice opened Mr. Drayton's eyes to a new perspective that he wasn't looking at. She made him see that love is all they need and that he needs to look back and remember the good old days of when he was head over heels for his wife. -Happy004

      Delete
  4. I thought it was kind of amusing how everyone kept going back and forth each talking to each other in privet. It's so true what John said about the older generation and his father and how he thinks of himself as a colored man, but John just thinks of himself as a man. That's how it should be. We are all just people no matter the color of our skin or our religion or our sexual identity or anything else for that matter. No matter what year it is, the problems in society are always going to be very similar and we may grow and become more tolerable but we will always have them. Also, in this film the men are the decision makers. The white wealthy man ends up having the overall say of everything which is how it still is today, but I thought it was very interesting that out of all the characters in this movie the one to really change Joanna's father's mind was Mrs. Prentice, the black female. It really shocked me that they even gave her that much power. It was like everyone tried to change Joanna's father's mind and no one could do it except Mrs. Prentice and it was when she started talking about how men forget things when they get older. They don't remember what it's like to fall in love and that's what ultimately changed his mind to grant his daughter and John the blessing to get married.
    -mybabygirl004

    ReplyDelete
  5. I get where Ms. Richards is coming from. I think that the government paying for sexual enhancement might be a little bit of proof. In our society we put a big emphasis on sex, especially for men. It is a symbol of pride and accomplishment. “Locker room” banter about it is really common, and while I know women talk about it as well, men definitely brag when they talk about sexual encounters. While sex is not the most important thing for a relationship, I do think it has a big impact on males in a relationship. Here she is saying that once the sex is gone so is a lot of the deeper emotion. I would have to disagree with that though. I think that sex is more important in the beginning of long term relationships than at the end. In the beginning you might not know as much about the person, but when you’ve been married as long as these couples you know the other person on a much deeper level than before. To start out new relationships are usually more physical, based on looks and stuff like that, while when you progress it turns from less physical and becomes much more emotional. I don’t think that Mr. Drayton lost his compassion for his wife, he just wasn’t looking at Joanna and Johns relationship as how much the two loved each other. He was only seeing the societal problems that they would face instead of their how they really felt about each other. After being with his wife so long we know that Mr. Drayton would have to know almost everything about her. He cared for her deeply on an emotional level even when, as the movie hinted at in this scene, their sexual relationship has weakened or completely disappeared.
    -DTH004

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think the men only were concerned with their feelings about John and Joanna being married as an interacial couple. They both had more to say about how hard it's going to be for them rather than asking them if they've thought about the what if's because of society. When John' mother was talking to Matt she basically told him that he's grown old and forgot what true passion was. If the men could of only paid attention to how passionate Joanna was towards John and how happy and excited she was then they would have looked past the fact that they were going to be an interacial couple. I feel that when you pressure people not to be with a certain person it just fuels the fire and they want to be with them even more. Joanna and John were well educated people and I'm sure they know what ridicule they'll be up against. Love is love and if they're good with each other, everyone else should be unfortunately that's not the society we live in. Mixed marriages are still being made fun of today. myboys004

    ReplyDelete
  7. In a way when you get older you don't always have to have sex to have intimacy with a person. Holding hands, hugging, a peck on the cheek, can make me feel close to a person. The government does not pass out birth control but covers Viagra so that men are able to get something up, even though sex doesn't matter. Not all men lose the feeling of passion when they get older. His parents also still try to control his life because they are older. Dr. Prentice believe that his dad owes him because he brought him into the world.
    -Kitsune004

    ReplyDelete
  8. In this scene, I think that Mrs. Prentice was saying that when men grow old, they no longer see love the way they used to. She was implying that men don’t value love anymore when they no longer have the ability to do sexual things and when they no longer have a sex drive. I wouldn’t know what men want in love because of how young I am and the fact that I've never been in love myself. What I see and hear is that, excuse me, but men think with their penises and not their hearts. From what I see from my surroundings is that people my age seem to think that they are in love all the time because of sex. A boy and a girl my age would date and then eventually have sex. After sex they would say “I love you” and throw that phrase around like it’s nothing. The word “love” then becomes a cliche and very overrated. That is how I think love works in life. In the film, I saw something different. I saw the real love that is absent in my life. I see that they truly value each other and will sacrifice and risk things for each other and that incredible love that people crave. I truly think that when people grow old, they don’t fall out of love, they just seem to forget the love that was there because they get caught up in other things and realize what is and was behind them. Maybe they are afraid of what they can’t do for each other anymore. Overall, I believe that this does not apply to all elders. All couples and individuals are different in a way. Not all actions and thoughts will be the same, but they may relate in a type. -Happy004

    ReplyDelete
  9. One thing that really stuck out was how everyone talked about the same “issue” and how they felt, but it was always in private. You could tell when the doctor opened up to his mother, how deeply he really felt for his soon to be wife. He poured his heart out in this conversation showing how much he truly did love her and cared for her, his mother seemed so understanding and compassionate. But when he was speaking to his father he mentioned how this was a mistake and even in some states he was breaking the law and even if the law changed what people would think. And continue to go on for what he did for him as if he was trying to put a guilt trip on him for following his heart. But of the father seemed so stubborn in their ways this is not right and there is no other view. The doctors mother made a good point when she mentioned when men grow older and the sexual things don’t exist they tend to forget how the felt in the beginning, men tend to more masculine and not so in tune with their feelings. Forgetting that once a upon a time they too felt the way towards their wife as he feels towards Joanna. Also when he was talking to his father and made the statement it is not until your whole generation is dead and gone will the weight be lifted really shows ageism. Our parents tend to become set in the ways of their generation and how things were for them that they forget it’s a new world the next generation is growing up in. As he mentioned you view yourself as a colored man, I view myself as a man really showed the age difference and how different things were for the both of them growing up. The father probably had to deal with a lot more difficulties because of the color of his skin compared to his son probably didn’t so much. -JustMe1989004

    ReplyDelete
  10. These men jumped to different conclusions without thinking about the big picture. Their opinions and statements were what mattered to them instead of the feelings of the children. They let their emotions take over and thought they should be respected in their thoughts and statements towards the couple. John’s mother attempted to show the men that they had no idea what kind of drama they were creating for them and their families. Love over conquered the men’s bickering and in the end it did not matter. I think the biggest over all concern was that interracial marriage was illegal. Men tend to fall into a routine, tend to become complacent. They can easily be happy in the same day to day patterns of life. Love seems to become a routine for men. The women bluntly pointed this out in the men. They told them they have to remember what love was, what love is. The funny thing was instead of all going to one place to discuss the situation and coming up with a conclusion they all disappeared into their separate sections of the house to secretly discuss their own feelings. ~BabyB004

    ReplyDelete
  11. The question that comes to mind is why did both older men feel the same way about the marriage? They are from different social and economic backgrounds which would reason that the way thought about marriage. Mr. Drayton was wresting with his our demons of racism. He could oppose racism in the work place like his newspaper and receiving fair health care but not being married to his daughter. He also was basing his conclusion on how society would view their marriage. And their children his grandchildren would be viewed in their social circles. So he knew if he had John father to speak with him John would oppose him because respect given to his father. Mr. Prentice reasoning for not wanting John to marry Joanna was fear on what could happen to his son because what was going on around the country during that time. He shared the viewpoint of what society would think about their marriage. I also noticed that Mr. Prentice and Tillie stated a familiar emotion of staying in his place as a black person.
    The mothers shared a similar emotion of remembering when their husbands were younger and exhibited sexual passion for them. Mrs. Prentice asked, John why did he tell, “the Draytons that he would not marry Joanna if they don’t approve”. She shared with him what both she and Mrs. Drayton thought about his relationship with Joanna. Their complete approval and happiness of doing in love. They viewed Joanna’s love for John the way they felt for their husbands when they first met.
    buckrogers004

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog